It Will Never Happen to Me!: Growing up with Addiction as Youngsters, Adolescents, AdultsRandom House Publishing Group, 1987 M09 12 - 224 pages OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD • A practical, compassionate guide for children of alcoholics that explores the complications of growing up with alcoholic parents, provides grounding exercises for self-healing, and offers help to break the pattern of destruction “A landmark in the field.”—Father Joseph Martin Why are children of alcoholics more likely to become alcoholic? Or marry an alcoholic? What kinds of problems do they face in adulthood as a result of their childhood experiences? What can we do to help adults who grew up in alcoholic homes—or are now involved with others who did—and want to understand their childhoods and restructure their lives? “It will never happen to me” is a line spoken by all who have been raised in a family where one or both parents have a problem with alcohol. To help navigate the instability of living with an alcoholic, children and adolescents develop survival techniques that can lead to myriad problems in adulthood, including depression, anxiety, an inability to maintain intimate relationships, low self-esteem, and even becoming an alcoholic themselves. In It Will Never Happen to Me!, renowned addiction researcher Claudia Black, Ph.D. blends anecdotes and her own experiences working with adult children of alcoholics to present a comprehensive overview of the roles that children with alcoholic parents take on—the Responsible One, the Adjuster, the Placater, or the Acting Out Child—and how they evolve throughout childhood and adulthood. She offers resources for anybody struggling with alcoholism as well as thoughtful questions and problem-solving exercises for processing the impact of living in an alcoholic household. Here are guidelines and help for the children of alcoholics so they can continue into adulthood with a greater sense of self and well-being, and most important—be able to live satisfying, happy lives. |
Contents
ROLES | 4 |
DONT TALK DONT | 24 |
THE PROGRESSION OF | 49 |
THE CHILD WITHIN THE | 65 |
THE ADULT CHILD | 110 |
FAMILY VIOLENCE | 146 |
RESOURCES | 168 |
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Common terms and phrases
ability able acting-out children adjusting adult child adult children adulthood Al-Anon Alateen alco alcoholic family alcoholic homes alcoholic parent alcoholic's and/or anger angry aware become alcoholic behavior believe Boys don't cry cause chil Children need children of alcoholics Claudia Black co-alcoholic coholic continue counselor dad's DADDY denial develop discuss disease dren drunk easier emotional experience express family members father fear feel guilty friends guilt happen healthy helping professionals holic holism hurt identify important incest issues lives mother never night nonalcoholic parent occur parent's drinking pattern person Peter Nardi physical profes programs psychological raised in alcoholic recovery remember responsible children role scared school counselors seek sense sexual abuse share sister situation Skid Row sober social someone spouse talk tell therapy things tions told treatment trust usually victims violence young youngster