abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves.

MISS RICH. And, without a compliment, I know none more disinterested or more capable of friendship than Mr. Honeywood.

MRS. CROAKER. And indeed I know nobody that has more friends, at least among the ladies. Miss Fruzz, Miss Odbody, and Miss Winterbottom, praise him in all companies. As for Miss Biddy Bundle, she's his professed admirer.

MISS RICH. Indeed! an admirer! I did not know, sir, you were such a favourite there. But is she seriously so handsome ? Is she the mighty thing talked of?

HONEYW. The town, madam, seldom begins to praise a lady's beauty, till she's beginning to lose it. [Smiling.

MRS. CROAKER. But she's resolved never to lose it, it seems; for as her natural face decays, her skill improves in making the artificial one. Well, nothing diverts me more than one of those fine old dressy things, who thinks to conceal her age by everywhere exposing her person; sticking herself up in the front of a sidebox; trailing through a minuet at Almack's; and then, in the public gardens, looking for all the world like one of the painted ruins of the place.

HONEYW. Every age has its admirers, ladies. While you, perhaps, are trading among the warmer climates of youth, there ought to be some to carry on a useful commerce in the frozen latitudes beyond fifty.

MISS RICH. But then the mortifications they must suffer before they can be fitted out for traffic! I have seen one of them fret a whole morning at her hair-dresser, when all the fault was her face.

HONEYW. And yet I'll engage, has carried that face at last to a very good market. This good-natured town, madam, has husbands, like spectacles, to fit every age, from fifteen to four

score.

MRS. CROAKER. Well, you're a dear good-natured creature. But you know you're engaged with us this morning upon a strolling party. I want to show Olivia the town and the things; I believe I shall have business for you for the whole day.

HONEYW. I am sorry, madam, I have an appointment with Mr. Croaker, which it is impossible to put off.

MRS. CROAKER. What! with my husband? Then I'm resolved to take no refusal. Nay, I protest you must. You know I never laugh so much as with you.

HONEYW. Why, if I must, I must. I'll swear, you have put me into such spirits. Well, do you find jest, and I'll find laugh, I promise you. We'll wait for the chariot in the next room. [Exeunt.

Enter LEONTINE and OLIVIA.

LEONT. There they go, thoughtless and happy. My dearest Olivia, what would I give to see you capable of sharing in their amusements, and as cheerful as they are!

OLIVIA. HOW, my Leontine, how can I be cheerful, when I have so many terrors to oppress me? The fear of being detected by this family, and the apprehensions of a censuring world, when I must be detected

LEONT. The world! my love, what can it say? At worst, it can only say that, being compelled by a mercenary guardian to embrace a life you disliked, you formed a resolution of flying with the man of your choice; that you con

fided in his honour, and took refuge in my father's house; the only one where yours could remain without censure.

OLIVIA. But consider, Leontine,

:

your disobedience and my indiscretion your being sent to France to bring home a sister; and, instead of a sister, bringing home--

LEONT. One dearer than a thousand sisters; one that I am convinced will be equally dear to the rest of the family, when she comes to be known. OLIVIA. And that I fear, will shortly be.

LEONT. Impossible till we ourselves think proper to make the discovery. My sister, you know, has been with her aunt, at Lyons, since she was a child; and you find every creature in the family takes you for her.

OLIVIA. But mayn't she write? mayn't her aunt write?

LEONT. Her aunt scarce ever writes, and all my sister's letters are directed

to me.

OLIVIA. But won't your refusing Miss Richland, for whom you know the old gentleman intends you, create a suspicion?

LEONT. There, there's my masterstroke. I have resolved not to refuse her; nay, an hour hence I have consented to go with my father, to make her an offer of my heart and fortune.

est.

OLIVIA. Your heart and fortune! LEONT. Don't be alarmed, my dearCan Olivia think so meanly of my honour, or my love, as to suppose I could ever hope for happiness from any but her? No, my Olivia, neither the force, nor permit me to add, the delicacy of my passion, leave any room to suspect me. I only offer Miss Richland a heart, I am convinced she will refuse; as I am confident, that without knowing it, her affections are fixed upon Mr. Honeywood.

OLIVIA. Mr. Honeywood! You'll excuse my apprehensions; but when your merits come to be put in the balance

LEONT. You view them with too much partiality. However, by making this offer, I show a seeming compliance

with my father's commands; and perhaps, upon her refusal, I may have his consent to choose for myself.

OLIVIA. Well, I submit. And, yet my Leontine, I own, I shall envy her, even your pretended addresses. I consider every look, every expression of your esteem, as due only to me. This is folly, perhaps I allow it; but it is natural to suppose, that merit which has made an impression on one's own heart, may be powerful over that of another.

LEONT. Don't, my life's treasure, don't let us make imaginary evils, when you know we have so many real ones to encounter. At worst, you know, if Miss Richland should consent, or my father refuse his pardon, it can but end in a trip to Scotland; and

LEONT. Sir, I believe you may see him, and hear him too, in the next room he's preparing to go out with the ladies.

CROAKER. Good gracious, can I believe my eyes or my ears? I'm struck dumb with his vivacity, and stunned with the loudness of his laugh. Was there ever such a transformation? (A laugh behind the scenes; CROAKER mimics it.) Ha! ha ha! there it goes a plague take their balderdash ; yet I could expect nothing less, when my precious wife was of the party. On my conscience, I believe she could spread a horse-laugh through the pews of a tabernacle.

LEONT. Since you find so many objections to a wife, sir, how can you be

so earnest in recommending one to me?

CROAKER. I have told you, and tell you again, boy, that Miss Richland's fortune must not go out of the family; one may find comfort in the money, whatever one does in the wife.

LEONT. But, sir, though in obedience to your desire, I am ready to marry her; it may be possible, she has no inclination to me.

CROAKER. I'll tell you once for all how it stands. A good part of Miss Richland's large fortune consists in a claim upon government, which my good friend, Mr. Lofty, assures me the treasury will allow. One half of this she is to forfeit, by her father's will, in case she refuses to marry you. So if she rejects you, we seize half her fortune; if she accepts you, we seize the whole, and a fine girl into the bargain.

LEONT. But, sir, if you will but listen to reason

CROAKER. Come, then produce your reasons. I tell you I'm fixed, determined, so now produce your reasons. When I'm determined I always listen to reason, because it can then do no harm.

LEONT. You have alleged that a

mutual choice was the first requisite in matrimonial happiness

CROAKER. Well, and you have both of you a mutual choice. She has her choice to marry you, or lose half her fortune; and you have your choiceto marry her, or pack out of doors without any fortune at all.

LEONT. An only son, sir, might expect more indulgence.

CROAKER. An only father, sir, might expect more obedience; besides, has not your sister here, that never disobliged me in her life, as good a right as you? He's a sad dog, Livy my dear, and would take all from you. But he shan't, I tell you he shan't, for you shall have your share.

OLIVIA. Dear sir, I wish you'd be convinced that I can never be happy in any addition to my fortune, which

is taken from his.

CROAKER. Well, well, it's a good child; so say no more, but come with me, and we shall see something that will give us a great deal of pleasure, I promise you; old Ruggins, the currycomb maker, lying in state: I'm told he makes a very handsome corpse, and becomes his coffin prodigiously. He was an intimate friend of mine, and these are friendly things we ought to do for each other. [Exeunt.

MISS RICHLAND, GARNET. MISS RICH Olivia not his sister? Olivia not Leontine's sister? You amaze me?

GARNET. No more his sister than I am; I had it all from his own servant; I can get anything from that quarter.

MISS RICH. But how? Tell me again, Garnet.

GARNET. Why madam, as I told you before, instead of going to Lyons to bring home his sister, who has been there with her aunt these ten years he never went further than Paris; there he saw and fell in love with this young lady by the bye, of a prodigious family.

MISS RICH. And brought her home to my guardian, as his daughter.

GARNET. Yes, and daughter she will be. If he don't consent to their marriage, they talk of trying what a Scotch parson can do.

MISS RICH. Well, I own they have deceived me-And so demurely as Olivia carried it too!-Would you believe it, Garnet, I told her all my secrets; and yet the sly cheat concealed all this from me?

GARNET. And, upon my word, madam, I don't much blame her; she was loth to trust one with her secrets, that was so very bad at keeping her

own.

MISS RICH. But, to add to their deceit, the young gentleman, it seems, pretends to make me serious proposals. My guardian and he are to be here presently, to open the affair in form. You know I am to lose half my fortune if I refuse him.

GARNET. Yet what can you do? for being, as you are, in love with Mr. Honeywood, madam

MISS RICH. How, idiot! what do you mean? In love with Mr. Honeywood! Is this to provoke me?

GARNET. That is, madam, in friendship with him; I meant nothing more than friendship, as I hope to be married; nothing more.

MISS RICH. Well, no more of this. As to my guardian and his son, they

shall find me prepared to receive them; I'm resolved to accept their proposal with seeming pleasure, to mortify them by compliance, and so throw the refusal at last upon them.

GARNET Delicious! and that will secure your whole fortune to yourself. Well, who could have thought so innocent a face could cover so much cute. ness?

MISS RICH. Why, girl, I only oppose my prudence to their cunning, and practise a lesson they have taught me against themselves.

GARNET. Then you're likely not long to want employment; for here they come, and in close conference.

Enter CROAKER, Leontine.

LEONT. Excuse me, sir, if I seem to hesitate upon the point of putting to the lady so important a question.

CROAKER. Lord, good sir! moderate your fears; you're so plaguy shy, that one would think you had changed sexes. I tell you, we must have the half or the whole. Come, let me see with what spirit you begin. Well, why don't you? Eh? What? Well then-I must, it seems. Miss Rich

land, my dear, I believe you guess at our business; an affair which my son here comes to open, that nearly concerns your happiness.

MISS RICH. Sir, I should be ungrateful not to be pleased with anything that comes recommended by