Scene-Young HONEYWOOD'S House. Bailiff, HONEYWOOD, Follower. Bail. Lookye, sir, I have arrested as good men as you in my time: no disparagement of you neither men that would go forty guineas on a game of cribbage. I challenge the town to show a man in more genteeler practice than myself.

Hon. Without all question, Mr. I forget your name, sir.

Bail. How can you forget what you never knew? he! he! he!

Hon. May I beg leave to ask your name? Bail. Yes, you may.

Hon. Then, pray, sir, what is your

name?

Bail. That I didn't promise to tell you. He he he! A joke breaks no bones, as we say among us that practise the law. Hon. You may have reason for keeping it a secret, perhaps?

Bail. The law does nothing without reason. I'm ashamed to tell my name to no man, sir. If you can show cause, as why, upon a special capus, that I should prove my name-But, come, Timothy Twitch is my name. And, now you know my name, what have you to say to that?

Hon. Nothing in the world, good Mr. Twitch, but that I have a favour to ask, that's all.

Bail. Ay, favours are more easily asked than granted, as we say among us that practise the law. I have taken an oath against granting favours. Would you have me perjure myself?

Hon. But my request will come recommended in so strong a manner, as, I believe, you'll have no scruple (pulling out his purse). The thing is only this. I believe I shall be able to discharge this trifle in two or three days at farthest; but as I would not have the affair known for the world, I have thoughts of keeping you,

and your good friend here, about me till the debt is discharged; for which I shall be properly grateful.

Bail. Oh! that's another maxum, and altogether within my oath. For certain, if an honest man is to get anything by a thing, there's no reason why all things should not be done in civility.

Hon. Doubtless, all trades must live, Mr. Twitch; and yours is a necessary one. (Gives him money.)

Bail. Oh! your honour; I hope your honour takes nothing amiss as I does, as I does nothing but my duty in so doing. I'm sure no man can say I ever give a gentleman, that was a gentleman, ill usage. If I saw that a gentleman was a gentleman, I have taken money not to see him for ten weeks together.

Hon. Tenderness is a virtue, Mr. Twitch.

Bail. Ay, sir, it's a perfect treasure. I love to see a gentleman with a tender heart. I don't know, but I think I have a tender heart myself. If all that I have lost by my heart was put together, it would make a-but no matter for that.

Hon. Don't account it lost, Mr. Twitch. The ingratitude of the world can never deprive us of the conscious happiness of having acted with humanity ourselves.

Bail. Humanity, sir, is a jewel. It's better than gold. I love humanity. People may say, that we in our way have no humanity; but I'll show you my humanity this moment. There's my follower here, little Flanigan, with a wife and four children; a guinea or two would be more to him than twice as much to another. Now, as I can't show him any humanity myself, I must beg leave you'll do it for me.

Hon. I assure you, Mr. Twitch, yours is a most powerful recommendation. (Giving money to the Follower.)

Bail. Sir, you're a gentleman. I see you know what to do with your money. But to business: we are to be with you here as your friends, I suppose. But set in case company comes.-Little Flanigan here, to be sure, has a good face; a very good face; but then, he is a little seedy, as we say among us that practise the law. Not well in clothes. Smoke the pocketholes.

Hon. Well, that shall be remedied without delay.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Sir, Miss Richland is below. Hon. How unlucky! Detain her a moment. We must improve my good friend little Mr. Flanigan's appearance first. Here, let Mr. Flanigan have a suit of my clothes-quick-the brown and silver-Do you hear?

Ser. That your honour gave away to the begging gentleman that makes verses, because it was as good as new.

Hon. The white and gold then. Ser. That, your honour, I made bold to sell, because it was good for nothing.

Hon. Well, the first that comes to hand then. The blue and gold then. I believe Mr. Flanigan will look best in blue.

[Exit Flanigan. Bail. Rabbit me, but little Flanigan will look well in anything. Ah, if your honour knew that bit of flesh as well as I do, you'd be perfectly in love with him. There's not a prettier scout in the four counties after a shy-cock than he: scents like a hound; sticks like a weasel. He was master of the ceremonies to the black Queen of Morocco, when I took him to follow me. (Re-enter FLANIGAN.) Heh, ecod, I think he looks so well, that I don't care if I have a suit from the same place myself. Hon. Well, well, I hear the lady coming. Dear Mr. Twitch, I beg you'll give your friend directions not to speak. As for yourself, I know you will say nothing without being directed.

Bail. Never you fear me; I'll show the lady that I have something to say for myself as well as another. One man has one way of talking, and another man has another, that's all the difference between, them.

Enter MISS RICHLAND and her Maid. Miss Rich. You'll be surprised, sir, with this visit. But you know I'm yet to thank you for choosing my little library.

Hon. Thanks, madam, are unnecessary; as it was I that was obliged by your commands. Chairs here. Two of my very good friends, Mr. Twitch and Mr. Flanigan. Pray, gentlemen, sit without ceremony.

Miss Rich. Who can these odd-looking men be! I fear it is as I was informed It must be so. [Ause Bail. (after a pause.) Pretty weather; very pretty weather for the time of year, madam.

Fol. Very good circuit weather in the country.

Hon. You officers are generally favourites among the ladies. My friends, madar, have been upon very disagreeable daty, i assure you. The fair should, in some me sure, recompense the toils of the brave.

Miss Rich. Our officers do indeed de serve every favour. The gentlemen are in the marine service, I presume, sir.

Hon. Why, madam, they do-o sionally serve in the fleet, madam. A dangerous service!

Miss Rich. I'm told so. And I own t has often surprised me, that while we have had so many instances of bravery there, we have had so few of wit at home to praise it.

Hon. I grant, madam, that our poe's have not written as our soldiers have fought; but they have done all they could, and Hawke or Amherst could do no more.

Miss Rich. I'm quite displeased when! see a fine subject spoiled by a dull writer.

Hon. We should not be so severe against dull writers, madam. It is ten one but the dullest writer exceeds the most rigid French critic who presumes despise him.

Fol. Damn the French, the parle vous, and all that belongs to them. Miss Rich. Sir!

Hon. Ha, ha, ha! honest Mr. Fla gan. A true English officer, madam; bes not contented with beating the French, b he will scold them too.

Miss Rich. Yet, Mr. Honeywood, th does not convince me but that severity criticism is necessary. It was our s adopting the severity of French taste, that has brought them in turn to taste us.

Bail. Taste us! By the Lord, madam. they devour us. Give monseers but a taste, and I'll be damned but they come in for a bellyful.

Miss Rich. Very extraordinary this!

Fol. But very true. What makes the bread rising? the parle vous that devour

us. What makes the mutton fivepence a pound? the parle vous that eat it up. What makes the beer threepence-halfpenny a pot?

Hon. Ah! the vulgar rogues; all will be out. (Aside.) Right, gentlemen, very right, upon my word, and quite to the purpose. They draw a parallel, madam, between the mental taste and that of our senses. We are injured as much by the French severity in the one, as by French rapacity in the other. That's their meaning.

Miss Rich. Though I don't see the force of the parallel, yet I'll own, that we should sometimes pardon books, as we do our friends, that have now and then agreeable absurdities to recommend them.

Bail. That's all my eye. The king only can pardon, as the law says: for, set in

Bail. As for the matter of that, mayhapHon. Nay, sir, give me leave in this instance to be positive. For where is the necessity of censuring works without genius, which must shortly sink of themselves? what is it, but aiming an unnecessary blow against a victim already under the hands of justice?

Bail. Justice! Oh, by the elevens, if you talk about justice, I think I am at home there: for, in a course of law

Hon. My dear Mr. Twitch, I discern what you'd be at, perfectly; and I believe the lady must be sensible of the art with

Enter Servant. Ser. Mr. Leontine, sir, below, desires to speak with you upon earnest business. Hon. That's lucky. (Aside.) Dear madam, you'll excuse me and my good friends here, for a few minutes. There are books, madam, to amuse you. Come, gentlemen, you know I make no ceremony with such friends. After you, sir. Excuse

me. Well, if I must. But I know your natural politeness.

Bail. Before and behind, you know. Fol. Ay, ay, before and behind, before and behind.

[Exeunt Honeywood, Bailiff, and Follower.

Miss Rich. What can all this mean, Garnet?

Gar. Mean, madam! why, what should it mean, but what Mr. Lofty sent you here to see? These people he calls officers are officers sure enough; sheriff's officers; bailiffs, madam.

Miss Rich. Ay, it is certainly so. Well, though his perplexities are far from giving me pleasure, yet I own there is something very ridiculous in them, and a just punishment for his dissimulation.

Gar. And so they are. But I wonder, madam, that the lawyer you just employed to pay his debts, and set him free, has not done it by this time. He ought at least to have been here before now. But lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.

Enter SIR WILLIAM HONEYWOOD.

Sir Wil. For Miss Richland to undertake setting him free, I own, was quite unexpected. It has totally unhinged my schemes

SS

to reclaim him. Yet it gives me pleasure to find that, among a number of worthless friendships, he has made one acquisition of real value; for there must be some softer passion on her side that prompts this generosity. Ha! here before me: I'll endeavour to sound her affections.-Madam, as I am the person that have had some demands upon the gentleman of this house, I hope you'll excuse me, if before I enlarged him, I wanted to see yourself.

Miss Rich. The precaution was very unnecessary, sir. I suppose your wants were only such as my agent had power to satisfy.

Sir Wil. Partly, madam. But I was also willing you should be fully apprised of the character of the gentleman you intended to serve.

Miss Rich. It must come, sir, with a very ill grace from you. To censure it after what you have done, would look like malice; and to speak favourably of a character you have oppressed, would be impeaching your own. And sure, his tenderness, his humanity, his universal friendship, may atone for many faults.

Sir Wil. That friendship, madam, which is exerted in too wide a sphere, becomes totally useless. Our bounty, like a drop of water, disappears when diffused too widely. They who pretend most to this universal benevolence, are either deceivers or dupes: men who desire to cover their private ill-nature by a pretended regard for all; or men who, reasoning themselves into false feelings, are more earnest in pursuit of splendid, than of useful virtues.

Miss Rich. I am surprised, sir, to hear one, who has probably been a gainer by the folly of others, so severe in his censure of it.

Sir Wil. Whatever I may have gained by folly, madam, you see I am willing to prevent your losing by it.

Miss Rich. Your cares for me, sir, are unnecessary. I always suspect those services which are denied where they are wanted, and offered, perhaps, in hopes of a refusal. No, sir, my directions have been given, and I insist upon their being complied with.

Sir Wil. Thou amiable woman! I can no longer contain the expressions of my

gratitude, my pleasure. You see before you one who has been equally careful his interest; one, who has for some time been a concealed spectator of his follies and only punished in hopes to reclaim him-his uncle!

Miss Rich. Sir William Honeywood! You amaze me. How shall I concealn confusion? I fear, sir, you'll think I have been too forward in my services. I confes I

Sir Wil. Don't make any apologis madam. I only find myself unable t repay the obligation. And yet, I hav been trying my interest of late to serve you Having learnt, madam, that you had some demands upon Government, I have, though unasked, been your solicitor there.

Miss Rich. Sir, I'm infinitely oblige to your intentions. But my guardian has employed another gentleman, who assures him of success.

Sir Wil. Who? The important little man that visits here? Trust me, madam, he's quite contemptible among men a power, and utterly unable to serve you Mr. Lofty's promises are much better known to people of fashion, than his person, I assure you.

Miss Rich. How have we been de ceived! As sure as can be, here he comes.

Sir Wil. Does he? Remember [ to continue unknown. My return to Eng land has not yet been made public. Wit what impudence he enters !

Enter LOFTY.

Lof. Let the chariot-let my chari drive off; I'll visit to his grace's in a chair. Miss Richland here before t Punctual, as usual, to the calls of huma nity. I'm very sorry, madam, things of this kind should happen, especially to a m I have shown everywhere, and carrie amongst us as a particular acquaintanc

Miss Rich. I find, sir, you have the art of making the misfortunes of others your own.

Lof. My dear madam, what can a pr vate man like me do? One man can't c everything; and then, I do so much this way every day. Let me see; something considerable might be done for hi by subscription; it could not fail if i

carried the list. I'll undertake to set down a brace of dukes, two dozen lords, and half the lower house, at my own peril. Sir Wil. And, after all, it's more than probable, sir, he might reject the offer of such powerful patronage.

Lof. Then, madam, what can we do? You know I never make promises. In truth, I once or twice tried to do something with him in the way of business; but, as I often told his uncle, Sir William Honeywood, the man was utterly impracticable. Sir Wil. His uncle! then that gentleman, I suppose, is a particular friend of yours.

Lof. Meaning me, sir?—Yes, madam, as I often said, my dear Sir William, you are sensible I would do anything, as far as my poor interest goes, to serve your family but what can be done? there's no procuring first-rate places for ninthrate abilities.

Miss Rich. I have heard of Sir William Honeywood; he's abroad in employment he confided in your judgment, I

suppose.

Lof. Why, yes, madam, I believe Sir William had some reason to confide in my judgment; one little reason, perhaps.

Miss Rich. Pray, sir, what was it? Lof. Why, madam-but let it go no further-it was I procured him his place. Sir Wil. Did you, sir? Lof. Either you or I, sir.

Miss Rich. This, Mr. Lofty, was very kind indeed.

Lof. I did love him, to be sure; he had some amusing qualities; no man was fitter to be a toast-master to a club, or had a better head.

Miss Rich. A better head?

Lof. Ay, at a bottle. To be sure, he was as dull as a choice spirit; but, hang it, he was grateful, very grateful; and gratitude hides a multitude of faults.

Sir Wil. He might have reason, perhaps. His place is pretty considerable, I'm told.

Lof. A trifle, a mere trifle among us men of business. The truth is, he wanted dignity to fill up a greater.

Sir Wil. Dignity of person, do you mean, sir? I'm told he's much about my size and figure, sir.

Lof. Ay, tall enough for a marching regiment; but then he wanted a something-a consequence of form—a kind of a-I believe the lady perceives my meaning.

Miss Rich. Oh, perfectly; you courtiers can do anything, I see.

Lof. My dear madam, all this is but a mere exchange; we do greater things for one another every day. Why, as thus, now: let me suppose you the First Lord of the Treasury; you have an employ. ment in you that I want; I have a place in me that you want: do me here, do you there interest of both sides, few words, flat, done and done, and it's over.

Sir Wil. A thought strikes me. (Aside.) Now you mention Sir William Honeywood, madam; and as he seems, sir, an acquaintance of yours, you'll be glad to hear he's arrived from Italy. I had it from a friend who knows him as well as he does me, and you may depend on my information.

Lof. The devil he is! If I had known that, we should not have been quite so well acquainted. [Aside.

Sir Wil. He is certainly returned; and, as this gentleman is a friend of yours, he can be of signal service to us, by introducing me to him: there are some papers relative to your affairs, that require dispatch and his inspection.

Miss Rich. This gentleman, Mr. Lofty, is a person employed in my affairs: I know you'll serve us.

Lof. My dear madam, I live but to serve you. Sir William shall even wait upon him, if you think proper to command it.

Sir Wil. That will be quite unneces