This part his fortunes, or rather, as it turned out, of all his misfortunes. of his life, when he was away from the theatre, seems to have been passed in the company of a Mr. H- and the bond of union was a similarity of taste in stealing knockers, barbers' poles, cocked hats, little wooden boys, golden eagles, snuff-house Highlanders, and so on; which adventures appear to be told in the novel of Gilbert Gurney; a book that is said to be little more than a record of his vagaries and irregularities at that season of his life. Of the hoax, so commonly told and so generally believed as taking place at the Spanish ambassador's at Woolwich, on the banks of the Thames, Mr. Barham has given a truer and more authentic account. One of the streets near Soho-square, either Dean-street or Frith-street, was the real scene of action. Hook was lounging up one of those streets in company with Terry the actor, when they saw through the kitchen window preparations for a handsome dinner :— So "What a feast,' said Terry. 'Jolly dogs! I should like to make one of them.' I'll take any bet,' returned Hook, 'that I do,-call for me here at ten o'clock, and you'll find that I shall be able to give a tolerable account of the worthy gentleman's champagne and venison.' saying, he marched up the steps, gave an authoritative rap with the burnished knocker, and was quickly lost to the sight of his astonished companion. As a matter of course he was immediately ushered by the servant, as an expected guest, into the drawing room, where a large party had already assembled. The apartment being well nigh full no notice was at first taken of his intrusion, and half a dozen people were laughing at his bon mots before the host discovered the mistake. Affecting not to observe the visible embarrassment of the latter, and ingeniously avoiding any opportunity for explanation, Hook rattled on till he had attracted the greater part of the company in a circle round him, and some considerable time elapsed ere the old gentleman was able to catch the attention of the agreeable stranger. I beg your pardon, sir,' he said, contriving at last to get in a word, but your name, sir,-I did not quite catch it,-servants are so abominably incorrect, and I am really a little at a loss-' Don't apologise, I beg,' graciously replied Theodore,' Smith, -my name is Smith-and, as you justly observe, servants are always making some stupid blunder or another. I remember a remarkable instance, &c.' 'But really, my dear sir,' continued the host at the termination of the story illustrative of stupidity in servants, I think the mis. take on the present occasion does not originate in the source you allude to ; I certainly did not anticipate the pleasure of Mr. Smith's company at dinner to-day.' No, I dare say not, you said four in your note, I know, and it is now I see, a quarter past five-you are a little fast by the way-but the fact is I have been detained in the city, as I was about to explain when-' 'Pray,' exclaimed the other, as soon as he could stay the volubility of his guest, 'whom, may I ask, do you suppose you are addressing?" Whom? why Mr. Thompson, of course, -old friend of my father. I have not the pleasure, indeed, of being personally known to you, but having received your kind invitation yesterday, on my arrival from Liverpool,-Frith-street-four o'clockfamily party-come in boots-you see I have taken you at your word. I am only afraid I have kept you waiting.' 'No, no, not at all. But permit me to observe, my dear sir, my name is not exactly Thompson, it is Jones, and—' 'Jones,' repeated the soi-disant Smith in admirably assumed consternation, 'Jones !-why surely I cannot have-yes I must-good heaven! I see it all; my dear sir, what an unfortunate blunder,-wrong house,-what must you think of such an intrusion! I am really at a loss for words in which to apologise. You will permit me to retire at present, and to-morrow' 'Pray don't think of retiring,' exclaimed the hospitable old gentleman; 'your friend's table must have been cleared long ago, if, as you say, four was the hour named; and I am only too happy to be able to offer you a seat at mine. Hook, of course, could not think of such a thing,—could not think of trespassing upon the kindness of a perfect stranger, if too late for Thompson, there were plenty of chop-houses at hand. The unfortunate part of the business was, he had made an appointment with a gentleman to call for him at ten o'clock. The good-natured Jones, however, positively refused to allow so entertaining a visitor to withdraw dinnerless; Mrs. Jones joined in solicitation; the Misses Jones smiled bewitchingly; and at last Mr. Smith, who soon recovered from his confusion, was prevailed upon to offer his arm to one of the ladies, and take his place at the wellfurnished board. In all probability the family of Jones never passed such an evening before. Hook naturally exerted himself to the utmost to keep the party in an unceasing roar of laughter, and make good the first impression. The mirth grew fast and furious, when, by way of a coup de grace, he seated himself at the pianoforte, and struck off into one of those extemporaneous effusions which had filled more critical judges than the Joneses with delight and astonishment. Ten o'clock struck, and, on Mr. Terry being announced, his triumphant friend wound up the performance with the explanatory stanza I am very much pleased with your fare, And I'm Mr. Theodore Hook. Such we believe to be the true version of the story; such, at least, was somewhat the manner in which Hook used to tell it," &c. Hook was barely twenty-one when, declining to work for the stage, he commenced as novelist, his coup d'essai being "The Man of Sorrow," which excited so little attention at the time, that he afterwards brought it out in Sayings and Doings. We have never read it, but the biographer says there are in it two well-sketched portraits of Mr. Minus (Tom Moore) and Sir Joseph Jonquil (Banks), and a tolerable epigram on Moore's duel with Jeffrey. Hook had been entered at St. Mary's Hall, at Oxford, and placed under the charge of his brother. When taken to the Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Parsons, of Baliol, for matriculation, he was asked if he was ready to subscribe to the Thirty-nine Articles; "Oh! certainly, sir, Forty if you please." An unlooked for turn in his affairs enabled him to leave the University, after a residence of one or two terms. He was now a slim youth of fine figure, his head covered with black clustering curls, with that eloquent eye, rich and mellow voice, joyous smile, and expressive play of feature, which remained to the last. He was elected a member of the Eccentrics, on the same night with Sheridan, Lord Petersham, and others; and was presented, by means of Lady Hertford, to the Prince Regent. But this full tide of fortune brought its evils with it. Though secure, by the moderate exercise of his talents, of a handsome income, he could not bring himself to rely on his own industry, and he preferred resting his hopes of fortune rather on the result of some grand coup than on the accumulating proceeds of regular exertion. He lived in the perpetual expectation of something turning up, and in that respect his first success was as remarkable as his subsequent career proved fruitful in distress and disappointment. An account is given of one whose name has long been forgotten to the public ear, though still remembered by a few who can see with dim eyes some faint and feeble shadows moving about in the further end of the cave of memory: we mean, the Rev. Edward Cannon, one of the Chaplains of the Prince Regent. With him, we are told— "Hook contracted a close intimacy, and though his friend's star did not remain long in the ascendant, that intimacy was interrupted only by death. Of course Hook took all sorts of liberties with him, among the rest that of daguerreotyping him under the name of Godfrey Moss, in his novel of Maxwell. However, as in the case of Tom Hill, the author read the scenes to Cannon in which he figured, previously to publication, though it must be confessed that the brother of the Rector of Fudley cum Pipes (the character is man, one's heart perforce contracts, its affection chilled by his unredeemed selfishness. Little, however, cared Cannon for the suppressio veri, for it amounts to no more, nothing that is set down being in the slightest degree exaggerated, and as little would he have cared had he found himself held up as a monster, or a MerryAndrew. He contented himself with a pinch or two of snuff, and the remark, The creter has drawn one half of the picture well enough, but he has somehow quite forgotten the other.' As has been observed, it was his musical skill that proved the means of introducing him to the notice of the Prince of Wales; but the peculiar bent of his humour, which admitted no respect of persons, proved a bar to his advancement, and lost him the countenance of that illustrious personage; the favourite Mrs. Fitzherbert he had offended before, and that fact possibly may have contributed not a little to his final dismissal. On being requested to give his opinion of an upright pianoforte, -an instrument then but recently invented he ran his hands, light as a lady's, over the keys, and threw himself back with a dissatisfied air. 'What do you think of it, Mr. Cannon?' asked Mrs. Fitzherbert. Why, madam, it may do to lock up your bread and cheese in, and that's all it's fit for,' was the reply. It needed a voice sweeter even than Cannon's, and few surpassed it, to render harsh truths grateful to royal ears; and a still more glaring instance of plain speaking, addressed to the Prince himself, soon after procured him his congé. The example, once set, was speedily followed, and Cannon ere long found himself well nigh deserted by his noble friends. Nothing, however, could induce him to curb the licence of his tongue, or to submit himself to the conventional restraints of society. On one occasion, for example, when inveighing with caustic bitterness against the late Bishop M- a reverend doctor, who was present, begged him to desist. 'Remember, my dear sir, his lordship has been a kind friend to me. I am under the greatest obligations to him. It was he who gave me the living of C--.' Well!' said Cannon, he ought to be hanged for that!" " "We are tempted to give one more anecdote of this extraordinary being, especially as the subject of our memoir was himself one of the parties therein concerned. They both had been dining with the late Mr. Stephen Price, the manager Theodore Hook, it is said, was gifted, as clever men generally are, with a memory quickly apprehensive, and possessing very retentive powers. He would repeat, after once running over, the whole list of advertisements in "The Times" paper; and once undertaking to mention in proper order the names of all the shopkeepers on one side of Oxford Street, he failed only by the omission of one. A story is told, when, with the assistance of Cannon, this faculty was brought into play, with amusing effect: "Moss (Cannon) and his biographer were engaged to meet at the table of a common friend, a certain reviewer, well known in the literary world for his varied information and for the somewhat dictatorial manner in which he was in the habit of dispensing it ;-as with the great Cambridge professor, on all matters from the inductive sciences to Chinese chess, his ipse dixit was to be considered final. Rochefoucault observes that there is something in the misfortunes of our best friends that does not displease us; he might have said, and with more truth, there is something in the ignorance of our best friends that does not displease us; at all events, a gentleman who always talks, as Sidney Smith said of Macaulay, like a book in breeches, is apt to become disagreeable among less learned individuals; and to silence the great man in question, or at least to lower his tone to the level of meaner capacities, was the object of the two confederates. Hook selected a subject which, though not perhaps particularly abstruse to astronomers, he thought was a little out of his friend's line-the precession of the equinoxes; and referring to the Encyclopædia Britannica,' learnt the entire article, a very long one, by heart, without however stopping to comprehend a single sentence. Soup had scarcely been removed when Cannon, as had been previously arranged, led the conversation round to the desired point, and, availing himself of a sudden pause, drew the eyes of the whole party upon Mr. whom he had already, with no little tact, con trived to entangle in the topic. The gen- you can doubtless put the thing in a much clearer light; I confess the mutation of the axis, which changes also the longitudes and right ascension of the stars and planets, by changing the equinoctial points, and thus occasioning an equation in the precession of the equinoctial point, is a little beyond me.' For some time Mr. We do not think men distinguished for their wit, especially if that wit is of a satirical kind, are the favourites of the fair. Beau Brummell, who took well with the men, was very unsuccessful with the ladies: nor did Hook ever find himself a favoured suitor. A story is here told of his being rejected by a young lady with a firmness that precluded any future expectation of relenting. He walked to the neighbouring inn, where also the successful candidate took up his lodgings for the night; but what passed in one chamber was perfectly audible in the next, and the first sounds that greeted Mr. P- -'s ears were strong maledictions and fiery wrath issuing from the next chamber. Every now and then a boot-jack or clothes-brush was hurled against the wall: next a noise as of a portmanteau knocked against the floor, accompanied by such epithets as a discomfited enemy might pursue. Then a pause then a burst of lamen * Cannon was called "The Dean." He was Sub-dean of the Chapel Royal, and one of the Minor Canons of St. Paul's. A specimen of his poetry is given at p. 106, in a satirical ballad called the "The Dean." He composed beautiful lines, and sang, it is said, with exquisite taste. We cannot say that he appears to much advantage in the character of Godfrey Moss, in Maxwell; but see the biographer's note at p. 108.-REV. tation-then an ironical laugh and sneer-t r-then another blow with the boot-jack, and so on throughout the night, interspersed with reflections on the low taste of women, and the abuse of his favoured rival. Mr. P― was a Welshman, and his blood was at the temperament it generally assumes in his native country; but, on reflection, the absurdity of the position struck with its full force on his mind, and, tranquillized and soothed by his success, he threw himself on his bed in a fit of laughter, and saw his angry rival depart for town next morning. Two years after this Hook experienced a similar reception at Taunton; and a third offer was anticipated by his family, but died off before it came to flower, although, like another youthful suitor of elder days, Pectens cæsariem, grataque fœminis yet he was not favoured by the same kind celestial protector, nor was "Veneris præsidio ferox." It was at this time, 1812, when his expenses being somewhat in advance of his means, and, like the "Great Unknown," he was living upon future contingencies, and paying for present draughts by drafts hereafter to be settled, that the most unexpected appointment of Accountant General and Treasurer of the Mauritius-an appointment of 2,000l. a-year-was given him. The matter was settled, we presume, in the "old yellow chariot," somewhere between Manchester Square and Carlton House: things were easily taken by the public in those days, and as they were pleased with the Duke of York and Lord Chatham commanding our armies, so they were equally satisfied with young Mr. Hook regulating our finances. We must pass over this eventful episode of our hero's life; he went out in 1813 and returned in 1819. Those who wish to know the particulars must refer to the volumes, where they are told. That Hook was totally unfit for his situation no one can doubt; that he was guilty is incredible; unpardonable carelessness and forgetfulness of his duties and responsibilities is quite clear of anything more than that we have no positive proof; but on those who, in the abuse of the power committed to them, appointed such a person to such a station, let the shame and ignominy fall; they were the real culprits; and it was indeed high time that some more stern and powerful voice than had been heard before should put a veto on those irresponsible acts of careless and profligate patronage,-against Walcheren expeditions and Mauritius appointments. If any thing like a portrait of Hook is to be given, it must be by taking our readers with us into the parlour where Hook and his friends are enjoying their social converse, at some indefinite and not-to-be-explained period of the night, or rather the morning; for, as the night air did not agree with him, he used to escape it, by not issuing forth till towards the time when the sun is about to dissipate the nocturnal vapours. At one of these meetings, to give his biographer's account, in rather an abridged form, at Mr. Dubois the barrister's, Hook and Tom Hill, and the elder Mathews, and the Rev. Mr. Jn [Judkin ?] were present. * On one of Mathews's entertainments the following anecdote is told. "On the acting of a piece called Earth, Air, and Water,' a clever and ingenious Scotch acquaintance was despatched with the newspaper order to the Lyceum, and on the following morning asked his opinion of the performance. The gentleman said, that it was rather comical on the whole, but that there was a little too much matter of fact about it, and that, as for fun, he did not think quite so much was made of it as might have been. Hook asked if the rest of the audience laughed,-he said, 'not much;' GENT. MAG. VOL. XXXI. C |