told my old friend that he might go time to finger a pen;-but I suppress home and take care of the horse he had given me, but that I should never reenter his doors. He went away with a laugh, leaving me to add this to the other little things the counsellor already knew of his plausible neighbour. these and twenty more equally plausible, and as easily invented, since they might be attended with a slight inconvenience of being known to be lies. Let me then speak truth: an hereditary indolence (I have it from the mother's side) has "And now, my dear mother, I found hitherto prevented my writing to you, sufficient to reconcile me to all my fol- and still prevents my writing at least lies; for here I spent three whole days. twenty-five letters more, due to my The counsellor had two sweet girls to his friends in Ireland. No turnspit dog gets daughters, who played enchantingly on up into his wheel with more reluctance the harpsichord: and yet it was but a than I sit down to write: yet no dog ever melancholy pleasure I felt the first time I loved the roast meat he turns better than heard them; for that being the first time I do him I now address. Yet what shall also that either of them had touched the I say now I'm entered? Shall I tire you instrument since their mother's death, I with a description of this unfruitful saw the tears in silence trickle down country, where I must lead you over their father's cheeks. I every day en- their hills all brown with heath, or their deavoured to go away, but every day was vallies scarce able to feed a rabbit? pressed and obliged to stay. On my Man alone seems to be the only creature going, the counsellor offered me his who has arrived to the natural size in purse, with a horse and servant to convey me home; but the latter I declined, and only took a guinea to bear my necessary expenses on the road. "OLIVER GOLDSMITH. "To MRS. ANNE GOLDSMITH, "Ballymahon." this poor soil. Every part of the country presents the same dismal landscape. No grove nor brook lend their music to cheer the stranger, or make the inhabitants forget their poverty: yet with all these disadvantages, enough to call him down to humility, a Scotchman is one of the proudest things alive. The poor have pride ever ready to relieve them. If mankind should happen to despise them, they are masters of their own admiration; and that they can plentifully bestow upon themselves. "From their pride and poverty, as I take it, results one advantage this country enjoys, namely, the gentlemen here are much better bred than amongst us. No such characters here as our fox hunters; and they haye expressed great surprise when I informed them, that some men in Ireland of 1000l. a year spend their whole lives in running after a every girl that will let them with child: hare, drinking to be drunk, and getting and truly, if such a being, equipped in his hunting dress, came among a circle of Scotch gentry, they would behold him with the same astonishment that a countryman would King George on horseback. "The men here have generally high cheek-bones, and are lean and swarthy, fond of action, dancing in particular. Though now I mention dancing, let me say something of their balls which are very frequent here. When a stranger ficed her beauty to ambition, and her inward peace to a title and gilt equipage) passed by in her chariot; her battered husband, or more properly the guardian of her charms, sat by her side. Straight envy began, in the shape of no less than three ladies who sat with me, to find faults in her faultless form. For my part,' says the first, 'I think, what I al enters the dancing-hall, he sees one end of the room taken up with the ladies, who sit dismally in a groupe by themselves. On the other end stand their pensive partners, that are to be: but no more intercourse between the sexes than there is between two countries at war:the ladies, indeed, may ogle, and the gentlemen sigh, but an embargo is laid on any closer commerce. At length, to'ways thought, that the Duchess has too interrupt hostilities, the lady directress 'much red in her complexion.' 'Madam, or intendant, or what you will, pitches 'I'm of your opinion,' says the second; 'I on a gentleman and lady to walk a 'think her face has a palish cast too much minuet; which they perform with a 'on the delicate order.' 'And let me tell formality that approaches to despondence. 'you,' adds the third lady, whose mouth After five or six couple have thus walked was puckered up to the size of an issue, the gauntlet, all stand up to country that the Duchess has fine lips, but she dances; each gentleman furnished with a 'wants a mouth.' At this every lady partner from the aforesaid lady direc- drew up her mouth as if going to protress; so they dance much and say no-nounce the letter P. thing, and thus concludes our assembly. "But how ill, my Bob, does it become I told a Scotch gentleman that such pro-me to ridicule women with whom I have found silence resembled the ancient pro- scarce any correspondence! There are, cession of the Roman matrons in honour 'tis certain, handsome women here; and of Ceres; and the Scotch gentleman told 'tis as certain there are handsome men to me (and 'faith, I believe he was right) keep them company. An ugly and a that I was a very great pedant for my poor man is society for himself; and such pains. society the world lets me enjoy in great "Now I am come to the ladies; and to abundance. Fortune has given you cirshew that I love Scotland, and every-cumstances, and nature a person to look thing that belongs to so charming a coun- charming in the eyes of the fair world. try, I insist on it, and will give him leave Nor do I envy my dear Bob such blessto break my head that denies it, that the ings while I may sit down and laugh at Scotch ladies are ten thousand times the world, and at myself, the most handsomer and finer than the Irish:-to ridiculous object in it.-But I begin to be sure now I see your sisters Betty and grow splenetic; and perhaps, the fit may Peggy vastly surprised at my partiality, continue till I receive an answer to this. but tell them flatly, I don't value them, I know you can't send news from B[ally]or their fine skins, or eyes, or good sense, mahon, but such as it is send it all; everya potato; for I say it, and will thing you write will be agreeable and maintain it, and as a convincing proof entertaining to me. Has George Conway (I'm in a very great passion) of what I put up a sign yet; or John Finecly* left assert, the Scotch ladies say it them-off drinking drams; or Tom Allen got a selves. But to be less serious; where new wig? But I leave to your own will you find a language so pretty be- choice what to write.-While Oliver Goldcome a pretty mouth as the broad Scotch? smith lives, know you have a friend! and the women here speak it in its highest purity; for instance, teach one of their young ladies to pronounce 'Whoar 'wull I gong?' with a becoming wideness of mouth, and I'll lay my life they will wound every hearer. or "P.S. Give my sincere regards (not compliments, do you mind) to your agreeable family, and give my service to my mother if you see her; for, as you express it in Ireland, I have a sneaking kindness for her still. "Direct to me, in Edinburgh." "We have no such character here as a coquet; but, alas! how many envious prudes! Some days ago I walked into my Lord Kilcoubry's (don't be surprised, my lord is but a glover) when the Duchess of Hamilton (that fair who sacri- Binely (1. 145). Student in Physic, *Mr. Prior prints the name as John 11. TO THE REV. THOMAS CONTARINE. The first letter to the Reverend Mr. Contarine mentioned in the text (p. 36) is dated 8th May, 1753, and runs thus: "MY DEAR UNCLE, tion) a science the most pleasing in na- "I am, my dear Uncle, your most "Most affectionate nephew, "In your letter (the only one I received from Kilmore), you call me the philosopher who carries all his goods about him. Yet how can such a character fit me, who have left behind in Ireland everything I think worth possessing; friends that I loved, and a society that "P.S. I draw this time for 61, and will pleased while it instructed? Who but draw next October but for 41, as I was must regret the loss of such enjoyments? obliged to buy everything since I came Who but must regret his absence from to Scotland, shirts not even excepted. I Kilmore, that ever knew it as I did? am a little more early the first year than Here, as recluse as the Turkish Spy at I shall be for the future, for I absolutely Paris, I am almost unknown to every will not trouble you before the time herebody, except some few who attend the after. professors of physic as I do. "Apropos, I shall give you the professors' names, and, as far as occurs to me, their characters; and first, as most deserving, Mr. Munro, professor of Añatomy. This man has brought the science he teaches to as much perfection as it is capable of; and not content with barely teaching anatomy, he launches out into all the branches of physic, when all his remarks are new and useful. 'Tis he, I may venture to say, that draws hither such a number of students from most parts of the world, even from Russia. He is not only a skilful physician, but an able orator, and delivers things in their nature obscure in so easy a manner, that the most unlearned may understand him. Plume, professor of Chemistry, understands his business well, but delivers Lawder, and Heaven preserve them! I "My best love attend Mr. and Mrs. am again your dutiful nephew, O. G. "I have been a month in the Highlands. I set out the first day on foot, but an ill-natured corn I have got on my toe has for the future prevented that cheap method of travelling; so the second day I hired a horse of about the size of a ram, and he walked away (trot he could not) In three days as pensive as his master. we reached the Highlands. This letter would be too long if it contained the description I intend giving of that country, so shall make it the subject of my next." III. TO THE REV. THOMAS CONTARINE. The second letter to Mr. Conhimself so ill, that he is but little re-tarine, referred to at p. 39, is garded. Alston, professor of Materia Medica, speaks much, but little to the not dated, but was undoubtedly purpose. The professors of Theory and written at the close of 1753: Practice (of physic) say nothing but what "MY DEAR UNCLE, we may find in books laid before us; and speak that in so drowsy and heavy a "After having spent two winters in manner, that their hearers are not many Edinburgh, I now prepare to go to France degrees in a better state than their the 10th of next February. I have seen patients. all that this country can exhibit in the "You see then, dear sir, that Munro is medical way, and therefore intend to the only great man among them; so that visit Paris, where the great Mr. Farhein, I intend to hear him another winter, and Petit, and Du Hammel de Monceau ingo then to hear Albinus, the great pro- struct their pupils in all the branches of fessor at Leyden. I read (with satisfac-medicine. They speak French, and con sequently I shall have much the ad-] "I have spent more than a fortnight vantage of most of my countrymen, as every second day at the Duke of HamilI am perfectly acquainted with that ton's, but it seems they like me more as language, and few who leave Ireland a jester than as a companion; so I disdained so servile an employment; 'twas unworthy my calling as a physician. are so. "Since I am upon so pleasing a topic as self-applause, give me leave to say that the circle of science which I have run through, before I undertook the study of physic, is not only useful, but absolutely necessary to the making a skilful physician. Such sciences enlarge our understanding, and sharpen our sagacity; and what is a practitioner without both but an empiric, for never yet was a disorder found entirely the same in two patients. "I have nothing new to add from this country; and I beg, dear Sir, you will excuse this letter, so filled with egotism. I wish you may be revenged on me, by sending an answer filled with nothing but an account of yourself. "I am, dear Uncle, "Give my "Your most devoted "OLIVER GOLDSMITH. how shall I express it? A quack, unable to distinguish the par- Give my earnest love to Mr. and Mrs. ticularities in each disease, prescribes at Lawder." "I suppose by this time I am accused of either neglect or ingratitude, and my silence imputed to my usual slowness of writing. But believe me, Sir, when I "As I shall not have another oppor- say, that till now I had not an opportunity of receiving money from your tunity of sitting down with that ease of bounty till my return to Ireland, so I mind which writing required. You may have drawn for the last sum that I hope see by the top of the letter that I am at I shall ever trouble you for; 'tis 201. Leyden; but of my journey hither you And, now, dear Sir, let me here acknow- must be informed. Sometime after the ledge the humility of the station in which receipt of your last, I embarked for Bouryou found me; let me tell how I was de- deaux, on board a Scotch ship called the spised by most, and hateful to myself. St. Andrews, Capt. John Wall, master. Poverty, hopeless poverty, was my lot, The ship made a tolerable appearance, and Melancholy was beginning to make and as another inducement, I was let to me her own. When you-but I stop here, know that six agreeable passengers were to inquire how your health goes on. How to be my company. Well, we were but does my dear cousin Jenny, and has she two days at sea when a storm drove us recovered her late complaint? How does into a city of England called Newcastlemy poor Jack Goldsmith? I fear his dis-upon-Tyne. We all went ashore to reorder is of such a nature as he won't easily recover. I wish, my dear Sir, you would make me happy by another letter before I go abroad, for there I shall hardly hear from you. I shall carry just 337. to France, with good store of clothes, shirts, &c. &c. and that with economy will serve. fresh us after the fatigue of our voyage. Seven men and I were one day on shore, and on the following evening as we were all very merry, the room door bursts open: enters a serjeant and twelve grenadiers with their bayonets screwed: and puts us all under the King's arrest. It seems my ders lace: and for every pair of breeches he carries, she puts on two petticoats. company were Scotchmen in the French service, and had been in Scotland to enlist soldiers for the French army. I en- "A Dutch lady burns nothing about her deavoured all I could to prove my in- phlegmatic admirer but his tobacco. You nocence; however, I remained in prison must know, sir, every woman carries in with the rest a fortnight, and with diffi- her hand a stove with coals in it, which, culty got off even then. Dear sir, keep when she sits, she snugs under her this all a secret, or at least say it was for petticoats; and at this chimney dozing debt; for if it were once known at the Strephon lights his pipe. I take it that university, I should hardly get a degree. this continual smoking is what gives the But hear how Providence interposed in man the ruddy healthful complexion he my favour: the ship was gone on to Bour- generally wears, by draining his superdeaux before I got from prison, and was fluous moisture, while the woman, dewrecked at the mouth of the Garonne, prived of this amusement, overflows with and every one of the crew were drowned. such viscidities as tint the complexion, It happened the last great storm. There and give that paleness of visage which was a ship at that time ready for Holland: low fenny grounds and moist air conspire I embarked, and in nine days, thank my to cause. A Dutch woman and Scotch God, I arrived save at Rotterdam; whence I travelled by land to Leyden; and whence I now write. will well bear an opposition. The one is pale and fat, the other lean and ruddy: the one walks as if she were straddling "You may expect some account of this after a go-cart, and the other takes too country, and though I am not well quali- masculine a stride. I shall not endeavour fied for such an undertaking, yet shall I to deprive either country of its share of beauty; but must say, that of all objects endeavour to satisfy some part of your expectations. Nothing surprised me more on this earth, an English farmer's daughter than the books every day published, de- is most charming. Every woman there is scriptive of the manners of this country. a complete beauty, while the higher class Any young man who takes it into his of women want many of the requisites to head to publish his travels, visits the make them even tolerable. Their pleacountries he intends to describe; passes sures here are very dull, though very through them with as much inattention various. You may smoke, you may doze; as his valet de chambre; and consequent- you may go to the Italian comedy, as ly not having a fund himself to fill a good an amusement as either of the former. volume, he applies to those who wrote This entertainment always brings in Harbefore him, and gives us the manners of alequin, who is generally a magician, and country, not as he must have seen them, but such as they might have been fifty years before. The modern Dutchman is quite a different creature from him of former times: he in everything imitates a Frenchman, but in his easy disengaged air, which is the result of keeping polite company. The Dutchman is vastly cere-at, for that was masked. monious, and is perhaps exactly what a Frenchman might have been in the reign of Louis XIV. Such are the better bred. But the downright Hollander is one of the oddest figures in nature. Upon a head of lank hair he wears a half-cocked narrow hat laced with black ribbon: no coat, but seven waistcoats, and nine pairs of breeches; so that his hips reach almost up to his arm-pits. This well-clothed vegetable is now fit to see company, or make love. But what a pleasing creature is the object of his appetite? Why she wears a large fur cap with a deal of Flan in consequence of his diabolical art performs a thousand tricks on the rest of the persons of the drama, who are all fools. I have seen the pit in a roar of laughter at this humour, when with his sword he touches the glass from which another was drinking. "Twas not his face they laughed They must have seen something vastly queer in the wooden sword, that neither I, nor you, sir, were you there, could see. "In winter, when their canals are frozen, every house is forsaken, and all people are on the ice; sleds drawn by horses, and skaiting, are at that time the reigning amusements. They have boats here that slide on the ice, and are driven by the winds. When they spread all their sails they go more than a mile and a half a minute, and their motion is so rapid the eye can scarcely accompany them. Their ordinary manner of travelling is very |