per at my own house. In place of that eafe and freedom which indicates a cordial reception, they found, on my wife's part, a cold and stiff formality, which repreffed all focial enjoyment; and the nonfenfical parade of a figure of empty fhew upon the table, which convinced them of the trouble their vifit had occafioned. Under this impreffion, you may believe, there is no great danger of a debauch in my house. Indeed my wife commonly fits out the company. If it happens otherwife, we have a ftated allowance of wine; and if more is called for, it is fo long acoming, that my friends take the hint, and with me a good night. But, even were I more at liberty to indulge my focial difpofition than I unfortunately find myfelf, there are other reafons, no lefs powerful, which would prevent me from inviting my friends to my houfe. My wife, Sir, is abfolutely unfit for any kind of rational converfation. Bred from her infancy under an old maiden aunt, who had the management of her father's household and country farm, fhe has no other ideas than what are accommodated to that ftation. Unluckily her tranfplantation to town, by removing her from her calves, her pigs, and her poultry, has given her fewer opportunities of displaying the capital stock of her knowledge. She still finds, however, however, a tolerable variety of converfation, in the rife and fall of the markets, the qualities and prices of butcher-meat, the making of potatoe ftarch, the comparative excellence of Leith and Kensington candles, and many other topics of equally amusing difquifition. Seriously, Sir, when alone I can find refuge in my books; but when with her in fhe never opens company, mouth, but I am in terror for what is to come out of it. her I fhould perhaps complain the lefs of being reduced to this state of involuntary domeftication, if I faw any endeavours on her part to make my home fomewhat comfortable to me. I am no epicure, Mr Lounger; but I own to you I like a good dinner, and have fomehow got the reputation of being a pretty good judge of wines. In this laft article I piqued myfelf on having a critical palate; and this my friends knew fo well, that I was generally confulted when their cellars needed a fupply, and was fure to be fummoned to give my opinion at the opening of a new hogfhead, or the piercing of a butt. You may believe I took care that my own small stock of liquors should not difcredit my reputation; and I have often, with fome exultation, heard it remarked, that there was no fuch claret in Edinburgh as Bob Eafy's yellow feal. Good Good claret, which I have long been accuftomed to confider as a panacea for all disorders, my wife looks upon as little better than flow poifon. She is convinced of its pernicious effects both on my purfe and conftitution, and recommends to me, for the fake of both, fome brewed ftuff of her own, which the dignifies with the name of wine, but which to me feems nothing but illfermented vinegar. She tells with much fatiffaction, how she has paffed her Currant wine for Cape, and her Gooseberry for Champain; but, for my part, I never taste them without feeling very disagreeable effects from it; and I once drank half a bottle of her Champain, which gave me a cholic for a week. In the article of victuals, I am doomed to yet greater mortification. Here, Sir, my wife's frugality is displayed in a most remarkable manner. As every thing is to be bought when at the loweft price, fhe lays in during the fummer all her ftores for the winter. For fix months we live upon falt-provifions, and the reft of the year on fly-blown lamb, and stale mutton. If a joint is roafted the one day, it is ferved cold the next, and hashed on the day following. All poultry is contraband. Fish (unless falt herrings, and dried ling, when got a bargain) I am never allowed to tafte. Thus Thus mortified in my appetites, divorced as I am from my friends, having loft all my mirth, and foregone all cuftom of my exercife,' I am told that even my face and figure are totally changed; and, in place of the jolly carelefs air of a bon-vivant, I have got the sneaking look and ftarved appearance of a poor wretch escaped from a fpunging-house, and dreading a dun in every human being that accofts him.-That it fhould come to this!-But I am determined no longer to endure it. My wife fhall read this letter in my prefence; and, while fhe contemplates her own picture, I shall take my measures according to the effect it produces on her. If fhe takes it as fhe ought, 'tis well ;-if not, and a rupture is the confequence, ftill better-I fhall be my own man again. I am, Sir, yours, &c. ROBERT EASY. N N° 64. SATURDAY, April 22. 1786. To the AUTHOR of the LOUNGER. SIR, HAT diftrefs finds fome confolation from TH revealing its misfortunes, is a trite obfervation, which perhaps is in no inftance more ftrongly felt, than where we have ourselves to blame for our calamities. There is fomething in making a confeffion, though but on paper, (even if it should never be communicated to any one), which unloads the mind of a weight that bears it down in fecret; and though it cannot pluck the thorn from memory, has certainly the effect of blunting its poignancy.-Suffer me then, Sir, to tell you, or to write as if I were telling you, how unhappy I am, and by what means I have become fo. I was left by my father at the age of thirteen, the eldest of two daughters, under the charge of one of the best and most indulgent of mothers. Our circumstances were affluent, our fociety re fpectable, |