4 But oh! for him my fancy culls
The choicest flowers she bears,
Who constitutionally pulls
Your house about your ears.
5 Such civil broils are my delight,
Though some folks can't endure 'em,
Who say the mob are mad outright,
And that a rope must cure 'em.
6 A rope! I wish we patriots had
Such strings for all who need 'em-
What! hang a man for going mad?
Then farewell British freedom.
REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE
NOT TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS.
1 BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.
2 So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning;
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.
3 In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind.
4 Then holding the spectacles up to the court-
Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle, As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
5 Again, would your lordship a moment suppose ('Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose,
Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then?
6 On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.
7 Then shifting his side, as a lawyer knows how,
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes:
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.
8 So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but-
That, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight-Eyes should be shut!
BURNING OF LORD MANSFIELD'S LIBRARY,
TOGETHER WITH HIS MSS. BY THE MOB, IN THE MONTH
OF JUNE 1780.
1 So then-the Vandals of our isle,
Sworn foes to sense and law,
Have burnt to dust a nobler pile
Than ever Roman saw!
2. And MURRAY sighs o'er Pope and Swift, And many a treasure more,
The well-judged purchase, and the gift
That graced his letter'd store.
3 Their pages mangled, burnt, and torn, The loss was his alone;
But ages yet to come shall mourn
The burning of his own.
1 WHEN wit and genius meet their doom
In all-devouring flame,
They tell us of the fate of Rome,
And bid us fear the same.
2 O'er MURRAY's loss the Muses wept,
They felt the rude alarm ;
Yet bless'd the guardian care that kept
His sacred head from harm.
3 There Memory, like the bee that's fed
From Flora's balmy store,
The quintessence of all he read
Had treasured up before.
4 The lawless herd, with fury blind,
Have done him cruel wrong;
The flowers are gone-but still we find
The honey on his tongue.
THE LOVE OF THE WORLD REPROVED;
THUS says the Prophet of the Turk ;
Good Mussulman, abstain from pork ;
There is a part in every swine,
No friend or follower of mine
May taste, whate'er his inclination,
On pain of excommunication.
Such Mahomet's mysterious charge,
And thus he left the point at large.
Had he the sinful part express'd,
They might with safety eat the rest ;
But for one piece they thought it hard
From the whole hog to be debarr'd;
And set their wit at work to find
What joint the Prophet had in mind.
Much controversy straight arose,
These choose the back, the belly those;
By some 'tis confidently said
He meant not to forbid the head;
While others at that doctrine rail,
And piously prefer the tail.
Thus, conscience freed from every clog,
Mahometans eat up the hog.
You laugh 'tis well-the tale applied
May make you laugh on t'other side.
Renounce the world-the preacher cries:
We do a multitude replies.
1 This ingenious little piece was versified from a prose story, by Cowper, during one of his fits of illness, and in an hour. Hence the common expression, 'Going the whole hog.'
While one as innocent regards
A snug and friendly game at cards;
And one, whatever you may say,
Can see no evil in a play ;
Some love a concert, or a race;
And others, shooting and the chase.
Reviled and loved, renounced and follow'd,
Thus, bit by bit, the world is swallow'd ;
Each thinks his neighbour makes too free,
Yet likes a slice as well as he :
With sophistry their sauce they sweeten,
Till quite from tail to snout 'tis eaten.
THE NIGHTINGALE AND GLOW-WORM.
A NIGHTINGALE, that all day long
Had cheer'd the village with his song,
Nor yet at eve his note suspended,
Nor yet when eventide was ended,
Began to feel, as well he might,
The keen demands of appetite;
When, looking eagerly around,
He spied far off, upon the ground,
A something shining in the dark,
And knew the Glow-worm by his spark;
So stooping down from hawthorn top,
He thought to put him in his crop.
The worm, aware of his intent,
Harangued him thus, right eloquent—
"Did you admire my lamp," quoth he,
"As much as I your minstrelsy,
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