sudden event; afterwards, understanding, I suppose, what had happened, he began to laugh himself, too, how the butler had served me.

Zenophantes. But, however, you should never have had recourse to the short cut, for it would have come to you more safely by the high-road, even if a little more slowly.

KNEMON,

VIII.

A LEGACY-HUNTER, LAMENTS ΤΟ HIS NEIGHBOUR DAMNIPPUS, THAT, WHEREAS HE HAD PUBLICLY, IN HIS WILL, BEQUEATHED ALL HIS WEALTH TO THE MILLIONAIRE HERMOLAUS, IN THE EXPECTATION THAT THE LATTER WOULD RECIPROCATE THE BENEFIT, HE, THE SPECULATING TESTATOR, BY HIS SUDDEN DEATH, HAD BEEN FRUSTRATED OF ALL HIS HOPES, AND, BESIDES, HAD LEFT HIS FAMILY DESTITUTE.

Knemon and Damnippus.

Knemon. Here is that saying of the proverb come true— "the fawn slays the lion." 1

Damnippus. What are you so angry and indignant about,`

Knemon?

Knemon. Do you ask what I am indignant about? Miserably tricked, I have left an heir behind me, against my intention, and have passed over those whom most of all I should have wished to have my property.

Damnippus. How did that happen?

Knemon. I was in the habit of courting and flattering Hermolaus, the millionaire, who was childless, in the expectation of his dying before me; and he admitted my courtship with no unpleasurable feeling. It appeared to me, in fact, to be a clever device, that of registering my

1 Ὁ νεβρὸς τὸν λέοντα (sup. αἱρεῖ). A Greek adage implying the occurrence of the unexpected-like the French proverb, "C'est l'impossible qui toujours arrive." Hemsterhuis traces it, through Plato, to Kritias. Cf. for other Greek proverbs, Αλιεύς. 9 ; Περὶ τῶν ἐπὶ Μισθῷ Συνόντων.

will in public, in which I have left him all my wealth, so that he might emulate my example and do the same.

Damnippus. What then, pray, did he?

Knemon. What he wrote in his own will I know not. I, however, died suddenly, by the fall of the roof of my house upon me; and now Hermolaus holds my property like some sea-wolf,' and has snatched away, too, the hook with the bait.

Damnippus. Not only so, but also yourself, the fisherman. So that you have devised your trick against yourself.

Knemon. I seem like it. On this account it is I am groaning and wailing.

IX.

POLYSTRATUS, A CENTENARIAN PLUTOCRAT, UPON ARRIVING IN HADES, NARRATES TO HIS FRIEND SIMYLUS HOW, BY REASON OF HIS GREAT WEALTH, HE HAD ENJOYED THE ADULATION OF THE WORLD AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GIFTS FROM SPECULATING FLATTERERS, AND HOW HE HAD DISAPPOINTED THEM ALL BY HIS WILL.

Simylus and Polystratus.

Simylus. Are you come to us at length, friend Polystratus, even you, after a life, I believe, not far short of the full century?

Polystratus. Ninety and eight years, Simylus.

Simylus. In what manner, pray, did you live the thirty years after me? For I died about the seventieth year of

your existence.

Polystratus. Exceedingly pleasantly, however strange and paradoxical that shall seem to you.

1

Simylus. Paradoxical and strange indeed, that you, aged

Aáßpa (glutton). A species of fish-cormorant, but what exactly it represents in modern ichthyology is not clear. It was a common synonym with the Greek comic poets for a parasite and a glutton. See Athenæus, passim. The French equivalent is loup de mer.

and feeble, and childless into the bargain, were able to find pleasure in life.

Polystratus. In the first place, I enjoyed universal power; besides, I had many and handsome slave-boys, and very elegant women, and unguents, and fragrant wine, and a more than Sicilian table.1

Simylus. Strange news to me this, for I used to think you exceedingly parcimonious.

Polystratus. Yes, but, my good friend, the good things literally used to flow in upon me from the hands of others; and from early morning they would come straight to my doors in shoals, and afterwards all sorts of presents were brought to me from every corner of the earth, the most beautiful conceivable.

Simylus. Did you become an autocrat after my death, Polystratus ?

Polystratus. No, but I had ten thousand lovers.

Simylus (holding his sides). I couldn't help laughing. You lovers, at your age, with four teeth in your head!

Polystratus. Yes, by heavens! the noblest in the State. Even old as I was, and without a hair on my head, as you see, and blear-eyed into the bargain, and my nose stuffed with phlegm, they were beyond measure delighted to fawn upon me; and happy was he among them, whomsoever I merely looked at even.

2

Simylus. You did not, too, did you, like the Phaon of the story, carry some Aphrodite over in your boat from Chios; and then she did not grant to your prayers to be young and handsome over again, and a suitable object of love ?

Polystratus. No; but I was the object of their eager desire, just such as I am.

Simylus. You speak in riddles.

Polystratus. And yet this affection I speak of, with its

1 Proverbial expression for "sumptuous gluttonies (in Milton's phrase). Cf. Plato, Пoλr. iii.; Hor. iii. 1; Macrobius, Saturnalia, vii. 5. 2 Phaon, an old and ugly boatman of Mytilene, in the island of Lesbos, was metamorphosed into a young and handsome youth by Aphrodite for having rowed her on one occasion over the sea, without exacting his fare. His best title to immortality, however, is the love of Sappho. See Athenæus (xiii. 70), who alleges another Sappho; Ælian, I. II. xii. 18.; Ov. Sappho Phaoni.

extravagant display in regard to childless and wealthy old gentlemen, is, surely, plain enough in its origin.

Simylus. Now I understand all about your charming face, admirable Sir! that it was from the golden Aphrodite." Polystratus. However, my dear Simylus, I obtained not a few enjoyments from my lovers, and was all but worshipped by them, and I often behaved insolently to them, and closed my doors against some of them at times; but they would contend with eager emulation, and surpass one the other in their lavish expense and delicate attentions to me. Simylus. And, at last, pray, how did you devise in regard to your possessions?

Polystratus. In public I was accustomed to declare that I had left each one of them my heir; and he believed it and equipped himself with more wheedling flattery than ever; but, all the time, I held in my possession the other my real will, and left it behind me, with an injunction to one and all of them to go to the devil.

Simylus. And whom did your last will contain as your heir ? Some one of your own family, I presume? Polystratus. By heaven, no, but a certain recently-purchased handsome boy, a Phrygian.

Simylus. About how old, friend Polystratus ?
Polystratus. Somewhere about the age of twenty.

Simylus. Now I understand what favours he conferred upon you.

be

Polystratus. But, however, he was much more worthy to my heir than they, even though he was a foreigner and a plague; whom even the great people themselves are already courting. He, then, was my heir, and now he is. received among the nobles of the land (shaved though his chin was,2 and though he did not know a word of Greek), and is proclaimed to be more nobly born than Kodrus, handsomer than Nireus, and more prudent than Odysseus."

1

Xovoñs 'Appodirns. An allusion to the well-known Homeric ascription-'IX. iii. 64; 'Oồ. viii. 337. Cf. Æn. x. 16-" Venus Aurea."

3

2 In the original, vπɛžupnμévos, lit. “partly shaved.” Slaves usually were made to wear the hair of the head closely cropped. Favourite slaves, ministerio infami, were shaved on their cheeks and chin. Cf. Τίμων, 22.

3

Kodrus, according to legendary Greek History, was the last king

Simylus. I don't care about that. Let him even be Generalissimo of Hellas, if they please; but only don't let them get his legacy.

X.

AN ALARMING NUMBER OF GHOSTS CROWD TO THE STYX. CHARON, FEARING FOR HIS BOAT, DIRECTS HERMES TO SEE THAT THEY WERE ENTIRELY STRIPPED OF THEIR VARIOUS INSIGNIA OF POWER, RANK, WEALTH, AND THE WEIGHTY LOAD OF VICES, BEFORE THEY ARE ADMITTED ON BOARD. MENIPPUS, WHO IS ONE OF THE PASSENGERS, AVAILS HIMSELF OF THE OPPORTUNITY FOR RIDICULING AND RAILING AT THE BEWAILING GHOSTS.

Charon, Hermes, and a number of Dead Men.

Charon. Just hear a moment how matters stand with us. Our little craft, as you observe, is a small one, and it is somewhat rotten, and leaks in most parts; and, were it to incline to either side, it would completely overturn and go to the bottom; and yet you come crowding together at the same time, each of you carrying a lot of luggage. If, then, you were to embark with all this, I am afraid that you may have reason to repent later, and especially as many of you as don't know how to swim.

Dead Men. What shall we do, then, to secure a safe passage?

Charon. I will tell you. You must embark stripped of everything, and leave all these superfluous things upon the shore for scarcely even so will the ferry-boat receive you. But it will be your care, Hermes, from this moment, to receive none of them who should not come in light marching order, and throw away, as I said, his furniture and movable property. Now, take your stand near the of Athens (cir. 1070 B.C.). In obedience to an oracle, he had saved his country by getting himself killed by the enemy; and his grateful subjects abolished monarchy in his honour. Cf. Cicero, Quæst. Tusc. i. 48, 116. Hor. Car. iii. 19. Nireus is celebrated in the Iliad as the "handsomest man," next to Achilleus, who marched against Ilium (ii. 671-674). Cf. Ov. Ep. Ex Ponto, iv. 13, 15. Propert, Eleg. iii. 16, 27. Hor. Epod. xv. 22. Nireus is often used by Lucian as the typical fop.