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DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD.

I.

DIOGENES COMMISSIONS POLYDEUKES, ABOUT TO RETURN TO THE UPPER WORLD, TO INFORM MENIPPUS OF THE ACTUAL CONDITION OF THINGS IN THE LAND OF SHADES, AND TO DELIVER ADMONITORY MESSAGES TO VARIOUS SORTS OF MEN -THE RICH, THE POWERFUL, THE PROUD; AND, FINALLY, TO THE POOR, WHOM, WHEN THEY COMPLAIN OF THEIR LOT ON EARTH, HE IS TO CONSOLE BY REPRESENTING THE COMPLETE EQUALITY (iooripia) WHICH PREVAILS IN THE REGIONS OF

THE DEAD.

Diogenes and Polydeukes.

Diogenes. Polydeukes, I entrust to you the task, as soon as ever you reach the upper world-for it is your turn,' I believe, to return to life again to-morrow-—if you anywhere catch sight of Menippus,' the Dog (and you would

1 See . A. xxvi.

2 Menippus, who figures so conspicuously in these Dialogues, was a countryman of Lucian, born at Gadara, in Hollow Syria, in the first century B.C. He belonged to the Cynic sect, and by his satirical writings is one of the most famous of that school: but his cynicism did not prevent him from making an extensive fortune in trade as a banker, which he lost by the bad faith of a trusted friend. He then put an end to his life. His Satires are known to us only through the fragments of the Satura Menippee of Varro (his contemporary), the learned Latin antiquarian: one of the best of which is the Prometheus Liber. Cicero (Quæst. Academ.) alludes to the Menippean Satires as displaying profound philosophy as well as wit. Marcus Aurelius (Tà siç 'Eavrov) especially mentions him as a distinguished mocker of human life (χλευαστής). The predecessors of Menippus, in this line, were Demokritus of Abdera (Тà πɛpì r☎v iv 'Adov), and one or two other lessknown names. One of the most interesting of the Lucianic Dialogues, which is a sort of epitome of the Dialogues of the Dead, and which might well have given Dante hints for his Inferno, derives its title from

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probably find him at Korinth, near the Kraneium, or in the Lyceium, deriding the philosophers as they quarrel one with another), to say to him: "Diogenes bids you, Menippus, if things above ground have been sufficiently ridiculed by you, to come hither, to laugh at many more matters. For there your laughter was yet questionable, and frequent was the objection, but who knows altogether what is to come after life? But here you will not cease laughing on firm grounds, as I do now, and most of all when you see the rich, and viceroys, and princes to be so humble and obscure, and distinguishable by their lamentations alone, and that they are soft-hearted and mean-spirited, recollecting their life above." This tell him, and, further, to come with his scrip filled with a quantity of lupines; and, if he anywhere find on the cross-roads a supper for Hekate set out, or a purificatory egg, or anything of the sort, let him bring it. Polydeukes. Well, I will give this message, Diogenes. But describe him, that I may know quite certainly what manner of man he is as to looks.

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Diogenes. An old fellow, bald, with a little old cloak,* with many a hole in it, exposed to every wind of heaven, and variegated with rags and tatters; and he is for ever laughing, and, for the most part, jeers at those loudtalking philosophers.

Polydeukes. It will be easy to find him by those tokens,

at all events.

the Cynic of Gadara—Μενίππος ἤ Νεκυομαντεία. Κύων, “the Dog,” is frequently used by Lucian for the adjective κυνικός. Cf. Δὶς Κατηγοροῦ MEVOS, 33. The Homeric picture of Hades ('Od. xi.) is an especial object of ridicule throughout these Dialogues.

1 The places especially frequented by Diogenes of Sinope, the famous Cynic. The Kraneium, where he died, was a cypress grove in the suburbs of Korinth. The Lyceium was the Gymnasium, on the S.E. of Athens, celebrated as the scene of the teaching of Aristotle.

2 Jacobitz translates кai Toλù rò, "es kam dir häufig der Gedanke bei," and cites 'Aλɛžávdpoç, 20.

3 It was a common custom with the rich to propitiate the all-powerful and dreaded divinity of the Night, at the end of each month, with certain dishes from their kitchens, and other offerings, consisting, according to the barbarous mélange of the sacrificial ritual, of black lambs, and dogs. These highway sacrifices were in high repute and request with the starving poor, who seldom failed to act as the priests of the triune Goddess. Cf. Aristoph. IIλouros, 595-7; Mart. Ep. vii. 53; Petron. Satyr; Plut. Σvμπ. vii. 6; Lucian, N. A. xxii.; Karañλ. 7.

Diogenes. Are you willing that I give you some commission with respect to those philosophers themselves?

Polydeukes. Speak: for that will not be any trouble either.

Diogenes. In a word, then, exhort them to cease their trifling nonsense, and quarrelling about the nature of the universe, and generating "horns" for each other, and making "crocodiles,' and teaching the young to engage

in such futile rubbish.

Polydeukes. But they will say that I am an ignorant and uneducated fellow to denounce their philosophy.

Diogenes. Do you, however, bid them from me to go and howl with a plague to them.

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Polydeukes. This message, too, I will give them, Diogenes. Diogenes. And to the rich, my dearest pet of a Polydeukes, convey this message from me: "Why, O fools, do you guard your gold so religiously; and why do you punish yourselves, calculating the interest of your money, and heaping talents upon talents, who must shortly come hither with only a single obolus ?

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For the purificatory egg with which the goddess Isis, or her priests, was propitiated, see Juv. Sat. vi. 518; and for the Larvæ and Lemures, see Persius Sat. v. 185; Ov. De Arte Am. ii. 330. See, also, Ov. Fast. v. 1. etc., and Suidas.

4 The Toißúviov was a specially distinctive mark of the followers of Antisthenes and Diogenes, and frequently figures in Lucian's ridicule of their extravagances.

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Tais πITTνɣais K. T. X. is translated by Jacobitz, "mit Lappen von allen möglichem Farben geflickt." See Heliodorus, Ailton. vi.

1 Képarα-кρoкodεíλovg. Technical names in the absurd Syllogisms of the school of Zeno and Chrysippus. The syllogism of the "horns" was thus framed: "What you have not lost, you have: You have not lost horns: Therefore you have horns." From this has been supposed (but, probably, without reason) to be derived the proverb of reproach66 to wear the horns." As for the syllogism of the "crocodile," it derived its name from the following illustration:-A crocodile seizes a child on the banks of a river, and promises to restore it to the father if he can tell truly whether the child will be given back or no. How completely the father was placed on the horns of a dilemma needs no demonstration. The illustration is given by Lucian, in his ridicule of the Stoic logic in the Sale of Lives. Cf. Quintilian, Inst. i. 10, on the ceratinas et crocodilinas ambiguitates, Diog. Laert. Lucian, Έρμοτ. 81.

2 The obolus, a coin, which in most of the Greek States had the value of twopence in English money, was always most religiously placed in

Polydeukes. This, too, shall be told to them.

Diogenes. Yes, and say to the handsome and the strong, to Megillus of Corinth and Damoxenus the Wrestler,' that with us there is neither auburn hair, nor bright nor black eyes, nor a blush upon the cheek any longer, nor wellstrung nerves, nor strong shoulders: but all is for us, as they say, one and the same dust "2-skulls bare of all

beauty.

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Polydeukes. It will be no trouble either to say this to the handsome and strong.

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Diogenes. And to the poor, Mr. Laconian 3—and they are numerous enough, grieving at their lot, and bewailing their destitution-say that they are not to weep or lament; explain to them the perfect equality here; and that they will see those who are rich there (in the upper world) in no way better off than themselves. And your Lacedemonians reprove from me for this, if you like-telling them that they have become remiss and degenerate.

Polydeukes. Not a word, Diogenes, about the Lacedemonians, for I certainly will not tolerate it. But as to what you were saying in regard to the rest, I will deliver your

messages.

Diogenes. Let us leave them alone, since such is your pleasure do you, however, convey from me my words to those whom I before mentioned.

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the mouth of the dead, as a viaticum, in payment to the ferryman of the Styx and the other infernal rivers. See especially Lucian's Xápwv. The Táλavrov, of Attica, was worth, nearly, £244. Cf. Juv. Sat. iii. 267.

The handsome Megillus figures in Charon's boat. Karanλ. 22; Damoxenus in Pausanias as a famous Syracusan athlete, vii.

2 One reading has μía Múкovog "one Myconos," an island of the Cyclades, famous for the number of its bald-headed inhabitants. See Plut. Evμπ. i.; Clemens Alexand. Erpoμ. i. Terent. Hecyra. iii. 4; Plin. Hist. Nat. x. 37; Strabo, Tewy. x.; Erasmus, Adagia. Lucian had in mind especially the ȧμɛvýva kapýva, with the sight of which Odysseus was so abundantly favoured on his visit to Hades, 'Od. xi.

3 Polydeukes was one of the twin-children of Leda, wife of Tyndarus, King of Sparta. See O. A. xxvi,

II.

KRESUS, MIDAS, AND SARDANAPALUS

COMPLAIN TO PLUTO OF MENIPPUS THAT HE DERIDES THEM FOR THEIR LAMENTATIONS OVER THE LOSS OF THE POWER, WEALTH, AND LUXURY WHICH BELONGED TO THEM ON EARTH.-MENIPPUS, IN SPITE OF PLUTO'S REMONSTRANCES, PERSISTS IN HIS RIDICULE.

Kroesus, Pluto, Midas, Sardanapalus, and Menippus.

Kroesus (pointing at Menippus). We can't endure, Pluto, this dog here, Menippus, dwelling near us. So either establish him somewhere else, or we shall change our habitation to another spot.

Pluto. But what harm does he do you, seeing he is your fellow-ghost?

Krosus. Whenever we groan and lament, remembering our possessions above-Midas here, his gold coin, and Sardanapalus his abundant luxury, and I, Kroesus, my treasures-he laughs at and upbraids us, calling us names -"slaves" and "castaways";' and sometimes he disturbs our lamentations by singing, too; and, in a word, he is a nuisance to us.

Pluto. What is this they say, Menippus?

Menippus. Quite true, Pluto: for I hate them for vile and pestiferous fellows, for whom it was not enough to live badly, but who, even when dead, still remember and cling to their earthly possessions. I find pleasure, therefore, in vexing them.

Pluto. But it is not right; for they are no small things they mourn the loss of.

Menippus. Are you, too, for playing the fool, Pluto, and casting in your vote with these whining fellows?

1 Kalapuara, in the first instance, "offscouring," "the refuse of a sacrifice." Used at Athens, in special sense, for certain real or pretended criminals, who on the occasion of some national calamity were, like the scape-goats of the Jews, employed as propitiatory sacrifices, and thrown into the sea. Cf. Aristoph. IIX. 454. S. Paul, i Cor. iv. 13.

2 For ὀλεθρίους, the common reading, Jacobitz has ὀλέθρους. Cf. : "Destroyers rightlier called, and plagues of men," Par. Lost, xi.

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