not forget at the fame time to be useful in fomething to the ftander by.

As therefore he began in the title, fo in the next leaf he makes it his firft bufinefs to tamper with his reader by fycophanting and mifnaming the work of his adverfary. He calls it "a mime thruft forth upon the stage, to make up the breaches of thofe folemn fcenes between the prelates and the Smectymnuans." Wherein while he is fo over greedy to fix a name of ill found upon another, note how ftupid he is to expose himself or his own friends to the fame ignominy; likening those grave controverfies to a piece of ftagery, or fcenework, where his own Remonftrant, whether in bufkin or sock, must of all right be counted the chief player, be it boasting Thrafo, or Davus that troubles all things, or one who can fhift into any fhape, I meddle not; let him explicate who hath refembled the whole argument to a comedy, for "tragical," he fays, "were too ominous." were too ominous." Nor yet doth he tell us what a mime is, whereof we have no pattern from ancient writers, except fome fragments, which contain many acute and wife fentences. And this we know in Laertius, that the mimes of Sophron were of fuch reckoning with Plato, as to take them nightly to read on, and after make them his pillow. Scaliger defcribes a mime to be a poem intimating any action to stir up laughter. But this being neither poem, nor yet ridiculous, how is it but abufively taxed to be a mime? For if every book, which may by chance excite to laugh here and there, must be termed thus, then may the dialogues of Plato, who for those his writings hath obtained the furname of divine, be esteemed as they are by that detractor in Athenæus, no better than mimes. Because there is fcarce one of them, especially wherein fome notable fophifter lies fweating and turmoiling under the inevitable and mercilefs dilemmas of Socrates, but that he who reads, were it Saturn himself, would be often robbed of more than a smile. And whereas he tells us, that "feurrilous Mime was a perfonated grim lowering fool," his foolish language unwittingly writes fool upon his own. friend, for he who was there perfonated was only the Remonfirant; the author is ever diftinguished from the perfon

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perfon he introduces. But in an ill hour hath this unfortunate rafhnefs ftumbled upon the mention of miming, that he might at length ceafe, which he hath not yet fince he stepped in, to gall and hurt him whom he would aid. Could he not beware, could he not bethink him, was he fo uncircumfpect as not to foresee, that no fooner would that word mime be fet eye on in the paper, but it would bring to mind that wretched pilgrimage over Minfhew's dictionary called "Mundus alter & idem," the idleft and the paltrieft mime that ever mounted upon bank? Let him afk "the author of those toothlefs fatires," who was the maker, or rather the anticreator of that univerfal foolery, who he was, who like that other principal of the Manichees the arch evil one, when he had looked upon all that he had made and mapped out, could fay no other but contrary to the divine mouth, that it was all very foolish. That grave and noble invention, which the greatest and fublimest wits in fundry ages, Plato in Critias, and our two famous countrymen, the one in his "Utopia," the other in his "New Atlantis" chofe, I may not fay as a field, but as a mighty continent, wherein to display the largenefs of their fpirits, by teaching this our world better and exacter things than were yet known or used: this petty prevaricator of America, the zany of Columbus (for fo he must be till his world's end) having rambled over the huge topography of his own vain thoughts, no marvel if he brought us home nothing but a mere tankard drollery, a venereous parjetory for a stews. Certainly, he that could endure with a fober pen to fit and devife laws for drunkards to caroufe by, I doubt me whether the very fobernefs of fuch a one, like an unliquored Silenus, were not ftark drunk. Let him go now and brand another man injuriously with the name of Mime, being himself the loosest and most extravagant Mime that hath been heard of, whom no less than almoft half the world could ferve for ftageroom to play the Mime in. And let him advise again with fir Francis Bacon, whom he cites to confute others, what it is "to turn the fins of chriftendom into a mimical mockery, to rip up the faddeft vices with a laughing

laughing countenance," efpecially where neither reproof nor better teaching is adjoined. Nor is my meaning, readers, to fhift off a blame from myself, by charging the like upon my accufer, but fhall only defire, that fentence may be refpited, till I can come to fome inftance whereto I may give anfwer.

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Thus having spent his firft onfet, not in confuting, but in a reafonlefs defaming of the book, the method of his malice hurries him to attempt the like against the author; not by proofs and teftimonies, but "having no certain notice of me," as he profeffes, "further than what he gathers from the animadverfions," blunders at me for the rest, and flings out ftray crimes at a venture, which he could never, though he be a ferpent, fuck from any thing that I have written, but from his own ftuffed magazine, and hoard of flanderous inventions, over and above that which he converted to venom in the drawing. To me, readers, it happens as a fingular contentment; and let it be to good men no light fatisfaction, that the flanderer here confeffes, he has no further notice of me than his own conjecture." Although it had been honeft to have inquired, before he uttered fuch infamous words, and I am credibly informed he did inquire; but finding fmall comfort from the intelligence which he received, whereon to ground the falfities which he had provided, thought it his likelieft course under a pretended ignorance to let drive at random, left he should lofe his odd ends, which from fome penurious book of characters he had been culling out and would fain apply. Not caring to burden me with those vices, whereof, among whom my converfation hath been, I have been ever leaft fufpected; perhaps not without fome fubtlety to caft me into envy, by bringing on me a neceffity to enter into mine own praifes. In which argument know every wife man is more unwillingly drawn to fpeak, than the most repining ear can be averfe to hear. Neverthelefs, fince I dare not wish to pafs this life unperfecuted of flanderous tongues, for God hath told us that to be generally praised is woeful, I fhall rely on his promise to free the innocent from caufelefs afperfions: whereof nothing fooner can affure me, than if I fhall feel him now affifting

affifting me in the just vindication of myself, which yet I could defer, it being more meet, that to those other matters of public debatement in this book I fhould give attendance firft, but that I fear it would but harm the truth for me to reason in her behalf, fo long as I fhould fuffer my honeft eftimation to lie unpurged from these infolent fufpicions. And if I fhall be large, or unwonted in juftifying myself to those who know me not, for else it would be needless, let them confider that a short flander will oft-times reach further than a long apology; and that he who will do juftly to all men, muft begin from knowing how, if it fo happen, to be not unjust to himself. I must be thought, if this libeller, (for now he shows himself to be fo) can find belief, after an inordinate and riotous youth spent at the univerfity, to have been at length "vomited out thence." For which commodious lie, that he may be encouraged in the trade another time, I thank him; for it hath given me an apt occafion to acknowledge publicly with all grateful mind, that more than ordinary favour and refpcct, which I found above any of my equals at the hands of those courteous and learned men, the fellows of that college wherein I spent fome years: who at my parting, after I had taken two degrees, as the manner is, fignified many ways, how much better it would content them that I would stay; as by many letters full of kindness and loving refpect, both before that time, and long after, I was affured of their fingular good affection towards me. Which being likewife propenfe to all fuch as were for their ftudious and civil life worthy of efteem, I could not wrong their judgments, and upright intentions, fo much as to think I had that regard from them for other cause, than that I might be ftill encouraged to proceed in the honest and laudable courses, of which they apprehended I had given good proof. And to thofe ingenuous and friendly men, who were ever the countenancers of virtuous and hopeful wits, I wish the best and happieft things, that friends in abfence with one to another. As for the common approbation or diflike of that place, as now it is, that I fhould esteem or disesteem myfelf, or any other the more for that; too fimple and too credulous

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credulous is the confuter, if he think to obtain with me, or any right difcerner. Of fmall practice were that phyfician, who could not judge by what both fhe or her fifter hath of long time vomited, that the worser stuff she ftrongly keeps in her ftomach, but the better fhe is ever kecking at, and is queafy. She vomits now out of ficknefs; but ere it will be well with her, fhe must vomit by strong phyfic. In the mean while that fuburb fink, as this rude fcavenger calls it, and more than fcurriloufly taunts it with the plague, having a worfe plague in his middle entrail, that fuburb wherein I dwell, fhall be in my account a more honourable place than his university. Which as in the time of her better health, and mine own younger judgment, I never greatly admired, fo now much lefs. But he follows me to the city, ftill ufurping and forging beyond his book notice, which only he affirms to have had; "and where my morning haunts are, he wiffes not." It is wonder, that being fo rare an alchymift of flander, he could not extract that, as well as the univerfity vomit, and the fuburb fink which his art could diftil fo cunningly; but because his limbect fails him, to give him and envy the more vexation, I will tell him. Thofe morning haunts are where they fhould be, at home; not fleeping, or concocting the furfeits of an irregular feaft, but up and ftirring, in winter often ere the found of any bell awake men to labour, or to devotion; in fummer as oft with the bird that first roufes, or not much tardier, to read good authors, or cause them to be read, till the attention be weary, or memory have its full fraught: then with useful and generous labours preferving the body's health and hardinefs to render lightfome, clear, and not lumpifh obedience to the mind, to the cause of religion, and our country's liberty, when it fhall require firm hearts in found bodies to ftand and cover their ftations, rather than to see the ruin of our proteftation, and the inforcement of a flavish life. These are the morning practices: proceed now to the afternoon; "in playhoufes," he fays," and the bor delloes." Your intelligence, unfaithful spy of Canaan? He gives in his evidence, that "there he hath traced me. Take him at his word, readers, but let him bring

good