THE SURPRISING, UNHEARD-OF, AND NEVER-TO-BE-SURPASSED "MY STORY THE FIRST.-OF ESCAPES. dear Munchy," said I, to Young Munchausen this morning, as we sat together at breakfast, "let me help you to a small slice of tongue." "Tongue!" he cried, "not for worlds, take it away; know that in SINGULAR AVERSION TO TONGUE. my travels I made it a rule whenever I met a person who told me a falsehood to cut out his tongue as a warning; and now, I never see tongue without thinking of untruth." CURIOUS HABIT OF AND OTHERS. "Ah,” said I, "what a large collection you must have by this time." "I have, indeed," he replied sternly; "but where to find truth I know not. I retired to Africa once in despair, but was soon driven out of the country by the monkeys, they told me such crammers that I never knew when to believe them; even here in London I meet people who indulge in a habit of exaggeration,-indeed, I am afraid I shall be as badly off in time as the man who lived in the Eddystone lighthouse for fear of being imposed upon. Even he was called down stairs, before he had pulled on his trousers, by an artful EDDYSTONE LIGHT- old shark, who cried out :-'Good man are you? show us your leg and then I shall know.' showed a leg, I think it was the left; of course the shark bit it off; so the poor fellow had to leave his quiet retreat next day, the wooden leg he had strapped on being too stiff to hobble up lighthouse stairs with. I shall never forget that man, by token that he was the means of accomplishing a great and worthy deed. I had strolled down to the Lighthouse the evening after the shark trick; there I found HOUSE. THE MAN C He the A WOODEN LEG SAVES 1 poor fellow tying on his wooden leg, and crying,-'I can't get up stairs, what shall I do?' Well might he cry; the British fleet was in sight, bearing down upon the shore, certain to be wrecked, unless the poor man could find his lamp-cottons, which he had mislaid; and get upstairs, which he couldn't. Without a warning, and they were bearing down upon the shore. What did I do? There were gallons of oil, but no cottons. I popped the man's wooden leg into the oil can, and soaked it well; then carrying him quickly upstairs, set light to what he called his timber toe.' What a blaze. 6 The British fleet caught sight of the burning leg and hove off in a brace of snaps: this shows how mere presence of mind may be the happy means of saving a gallant fleet from destruction; but there, I only did my duty, so we will say no more about that. THREADING A REGI- Talking of duty reminds me of the only time I neglected it; it was out in the Crimea. I shall never forget it as long as I live. I had been sentry of an outpost for six-and-ninety hours without relief. Exhausted nature could no longer hold out, I fell asleep in the act of ramming a cartridge into my rifle; suddenly I was aroused by the stealthy tramp of Russian footsteps. I started up and looked out into the grey dawn, the day was just breaking; about two hundred yards in advance of my post, I saw a regiment of Russian infantry coming on in Indian file. What could I do? A thought struck me; I hastily tied one end of a long hank of cord, which I found in my coat-pocket, through the eye of my ramrod, luckily, as you remember, still in my Whitworth, and fired. Guess the result. I had, as I expected, threaded them all; the ramrod, acting as a needle, had carried my hank of cord through the whole regiment. The Emperor Nicholas never forgave me for such a humiliating trick; but it was sufficient for me that, in this disgraceful condition, I dragged them all to our camp. A narrow escape for me; but I have always had luck on my side, and I am sure it is not necessary for me either to tell you of the honours that were then and there heaped upon me, or even to show you my Victoria Cross to convince you of the grave importance of this almost accidental feat of arms. You ask me whether I have had any escapes in the proper sense of the word. I suppose you mean escapes from prison and such like; I should think I had; it is, indeed, in my Escapes that I have found how luck will second my small amount of skill. I may tell you, without wishing to boast, that no prison has been found strong enough to hold me. I count it no great merit to say that I have RECITES HIS MANY had more escapes than any boy of my age; it is enough for me that I have escaped from home, from prison, from robbers, from fire, from a whale; in a box, in a bag, in my boots; on an engine; on six horses; through a keyhole; up a chimney; out of window; and even off the gallows. I will proceed to tell you of these, if you will forgive me for the simple manner in which they are narrated; the fact is I have never dared to add to or embellish the somewhat interesting facts of my life, ever since I heard the great Nana Sahib tell a lie, so long that it turned his hair grey in one MISERABLE END OF night, and so broad that it choked him on the spot. " To begin. My first escape was from home, as you may well suppose; for being a boy of some parts, I was not at all satisfied with the hum-drum life of the nursery; the dangers of Robinson Crusoe, or more especially the modest career of my great uncle, being much more to my fancy. I need not tell you that to one of so stedfast a will chance soon offered itself; an occasion, indeed, which, though seized, did not lead to any more immediate result than a good beating, but which I count as the first step in my career, and relate accordingly. I was at MUD-CART. the time a sturdy lad of six, full of daring, and very fat; away from home I had made up my mind to run, and one morning the nursery window being open, and a scavenger's mud-cart passing by, I made no more ado but jumped into it, hoping that the soft mud would break my fall, and that the cart would carry me far away into the world, of which I knew so little. Alas, it was not to be; it is true that the mud was soft, but I came into it head-foremost, and nothing but my bare legs remained in sight to show by their earnest kicks that a life was in danger; any boy else would have been choked, not Munchausen. I had learned the art of clapping together the soles of my feet while standing DEXTEROUS FEET. on my head, and this accomplishment I practised now with such vigour, that the scavenger walking by the side of his cart heard my performance, pulled me out of the mud, and boxed my ears at the same moment that my father, my mother, and the nurse rushed wildly into the street, wondering which part of my body was not broken. The scavenger was rewarded with a pint of porter, I was taken in, first scraped and afterwards beaten. The windows fastened down, the doors locked, I was now indeed a prisoner. "Come, said I, this would daunt a simpler mind, but to Munchausen it gives courage; now I am a prisoner, I must escape, once out in the world, never shall they see me back again; but how to accom plish it? The locks were too difficult for my youthful fingers, the "Ah! a chance offers itself at once, cook slept in the next room, all cooks have large boxes; in that box I must escape. BOX. But how? I watched my opportunity, slipped into cook's room, there was the BOX I took out a few things' to ready for cording. THE ESCAPE IN THE make room for myself, hid them up the chimney, jumped into the box, and pulled down the lid, as cook herself came hurriedly into the room; she locked the box without looking into it, tied the cord round and knotted it well, called in the carrier's man, who was waiting on the landing, and down stairs I went, box and all. I was well bumped before I got into the waggon, but once laid quietly there, I felt more at my ease. I examined the contents Dishonest servant! she of cook's box, as well as I could in the dark. had robbed my father of seventy silver spoons, five and forty forks, also silver, a 'parcel' gilt tea-pot, and a favourite filigree silver fish-slice. I found also a stocking full of sovereigns, evidently the result of a long and nefarious traffic with the rag-and-bottle-man. These riches,' said I, 'once my father's, shall now be mine; justice to the name I bear demands it.' As for food, I came upon a large bag of ginger-bread nuts, which cook had that morning baked for her own eating. THE ESCAPE FROM I "Confined in a box that was locked, corded with a stout cord, in a waggon, travelling at, say, four miles an hour, my course was clear. pulled out my clasp-knife, opened the large blade, and cut my way through the bottom of the box, through the bottom of the waggon, and so fell gently on to the high road, and let the waggon glide slowly away; here I was out in the world at last, with riches in the shape of spoons, forks, and such like, a bag of gingerbread nuts, three hundred and sixteen pounds in gold, and nothing else. "I was sitting on a mile-stone, counting my silver spoons, when a hoarse voice called out, 'Stand and deliver!' "I looked up. I was trapped. left lounged a ticket-of-leave. A BRIGAND, On my right stood a brigand, on my robber, while before me lowered a I saw at once that resistance would be in vain, so throwing my gingerbread nuts at the brigand's head, hitting the robber in the eye with of the ticket-of-leave, I They took from me my which away we went: a spoon, and sticking a fork into the right calf |