1764. Atat. 55. I have done nothing. The need of doing, therefore, is preffing, fince the time of doing is fhort. O GOD, grant me to resolve aright, and to keep my refolutions, for JESUS CHRIST's fake. Amen"." Such a tenderness of confcience, fuch a fervent defire of improvement, will rarely be found. It is, furely, not decent in thofe who are hardened in indifference to fpiritual improvement, to treat this pious anxiety of Johnson with contempt. About this time he was afflicted with a very severe return of the hypochondriack diforder, which was ever lurking about him. He was fo ill, as, notwithstanding his remarkable love of company, to be entirely averse to society, the most fatal fymptom of that malady. Dr. Adams told me, that, as an old friend, he was admitted to visit him, and that he found him in a deplorable state, fighing, groaning, talking to himself, and restlessly walking from room to room. He then used this emphatical expreffion of the mifery which he felt: "I would confent to have a limb amputated to recover my fpirits." Talking to himself was, indeed, one of his fingularities ever fince I knew him. I was certain that he was frequently uttering pious ejaculations; for fragments of the Lord's Prayer have been diftinctly overheard. His friend Mr. Thomas Davies, of whom Churchill fays, "That Davies hath a very pretty wife:" when Dr. Johnson muttered "lead us not into temptation," used with waggish and gallant 3 9 Prayers and Meditations, p. 58. humour humour to whisper Mrs. Davies, "You, my dear, are the cause of this." He had another particularity, of which none of his friends ever ventured to afk an explanation. It appeared to me fome fuperftitious habit, which he had contracted early, and from which he had never called upon his reafon to dif-entangle him. This was his anxious care to go out or in at a door or paffage, by a certain number of steps from a certain point, or at least so as that either his right or his left foot, (I am not certain which,) fhould conftantly make the first actual movement when he came close to the door or paffage. Thus I conjecture: for I have, upon innumerable occafions, obferved him fuddenly ftop, and then feem to count his fteps with a deep earneftnefs; and when he had neglected or gone wrong in this fort of magical movement, I have feen him go back again, put himself in a proper posture to begin the ceremony, and, having gone through it, break from his abstraction, walk briskly on, and join his companion. A ftrange inftance of fomething of this nature, even when on horseback, happened when he was in the ifle of Sky 3. Sir Joshua Reynolds has obferved him to go a good way about, rather than crofs a particular alley in Leicesterfields; but this Sir Joshua imputed to his having had fome difagreeable recollection affociated with it. That the most minute fingularities which belonged to him, and made very obfervable parts 3 Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides, 3d, edit, p. 316. 1764 Etat. 55. of Atat. 55. 1764. of his appearance and manner, may not be omitted, it is requifite to mention, that while talking or even mufing as he fat in his chair, he commonly held his head to one fide towards his right shoulder, and fhook it in a tremulous manner, moving his body backwards and forwards, and rubbing his left knee in the fame direction, with the palm of his hand. In the intervals of articulating he made various founds with his mouth, fometimes as if ruminating, or what is called chewing the cud, fometimes giving a half whistle, fometimes making his tongue play backwards from the roof of his mouth, as if clucking like a hen, and fometimes protruding it against his upper gums in front, as if pronouncing quickly under his breath, too, too, too: all this accompanied fometimes with a thoughtful look, but more frequently with a smile. I am fully aware how very obvious an occafion I here give for the fneering jocularity of fuch as have no relish of an exact likeness; which, to render complete, he who draws it must not difdain the slightest strokes. But if witlings fhould be inclined to attack this account, let them have the candour to quote what I have offered in my defence. He was for fome time in the fummet at Easton Maudit, Northamptonshire, on a vifit to the Reverend Dr. Percy, now Bishop of Dromore. Whatever diffatisfaction he felt at what he confidered as a flow progrefs in intellectual improvement, we find that his heart was tender, and his affections warm, as appears from the following very kind letter: To 1764 L TO JOSHUA REYNOLDS, Efq. in Leicester-Fields, Etat. 55. "DEAR SIR, London. "I DID not hear of your fickness till I heard likewife of your recovery, and therefore escaped that part of your pain, which every man must feel, to whom you are known as you are known to me. "Having had no particular account of your diforder, I know not in what state it has left you. If the amusement of my company can exhilarate the languor of a flow recovery, I will not delay a day to come to you; for I know not how I can fo effectually promote my own pleasure as by pleasing you, or my own interest as by preserving you, in whom, if I fhould lofe you, I fhould lofe almost the only man whom I call a friend. Pray let me hear of you from yourself, or from dear Mifs Reynolds 3. Make my compliments to Mr. Mudge. I am, dear Sir, "Your most affectionate "And moft humble fervant, "At the Rev. Mr. Percy's, at Easton Maudit, Northamptonshire, (by Castle Afhby,) Aug. 19, 1764.” Early in the year 1765 he paid a fhort vifit to Etat. 56. the University of Cambridge, with his friend Mr. Beauclerk. There is a lively picturesque account • Sir Joshua's fifter, for whom Johnson had a particular affection, and to whom he wrote many letters which I have feen, and which I am forry her too nice delicacy will not permit to be published. Gg 2 of 1765. Etat. 56. of his behaviour on this vifit, in the Gentleman's Magazine for March 1785, being an extract of a letter from the late Dr. John Sharp. The two following fentences are very characteristical: "He drank his large potations of tea with me, interrupted by many an indignant contradiction, and many a noble sentiment.". "Several persons got into his company the last evening at Trinity, where, about twelve, he began to be very great; stripped poor Mrs. Macaulay to the very skin, then gave her for his toast, and drank her in two bumpers. The ftrictness of his felf-examination and scrupulous Christian humility, appear in his pious meditation on Eafter-day this year." I purpose "I again to partake of the bleffed facrament; yet when I confider how vainly I have hitherto refolved at this annual commemoration of my Saviour's death, to regulate my life by his laws, I am almost afraid to renew my refolutions." The concluding words are very remarkable, and fhew that he laboured under a fevere depreffion of fpirits." Since the laft Eafter I have reformed no evil habit, my time has been unprofitably spent, and seems as a dream that has left nothing behind. My memory grows confufed, and I know not how the days pafs over me. Good Lord deliver me"." No man was more gratefully fenfible of any kindness done to him than Johnfon. There is a little circumstance in his diary this year, which fhews him in a very amiable light. a Prayers and Meditations, p. 61. "July |