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filt ;


And really to me 'twas a ludicrous treat, With Mynheer Van-Dondermans --Youf To fee such a strange groupe together thus

Vrouw Van-Spoke meet.

Came daudling in with the Duchess's poée. I cannot inGft that the awkward dullanimals, There were two Miss Hoof-Sncekens, who In their persons and customs, are absolute

laughably ape cannibals ;

Englim falhions, as yearly they pass by the But I think all who've seen them will rea

Cape ; dily own,

With the eldet, her beauty doth chicfy They've not the least knowledge of manners

coolist or ton.

In a vulgar red check and a tub-thumping To picture the set, I just briefly will mention The names of a few who moti al- Whilst the youngest displays a broad naked tention.

brown breatt, First, as all these are Vans, so I'll lead up With a pair of stout arms fit a mop onio reit; the van

And yet these ewo frights arc tbe Belles of the With our hostess good lady-Youf Vrouw

place! Yankleman :

Lord! Dutch Beaux are, at beit, but a H. Then booted and spurr'd, and array'à cap-à

tentot race! pee,

With libations of gin, and tobacco's vile Came a soldier of note, titled Count Snicker

fumes, Snee;

They drank and they smoak'd us away from With a pipe in his mouth, and a pair of

the rooms ; black whiskers,

And if c'er I repair in their balls any more, He gallantly handed ihe widow Van-Grifkers: May I choak and be poison'd a chousand The widow's allow'd io poile's great allrae.

timcs o'ır! tion,

The band play'd away to enliven the Vans; The Baron bright laurcis has gather'd in Likerinkers in concert, all rattling their pans. aitiou.

A fidler, from Naples, all cover'd with lace, Now salk'd like a Cyrus thc lcan dame Van- In 'craping his firdle, distorted his face ; Blixen,

A meagre daru'd Frenchinan his fluie seem'd Whom fcandal has chriften'ů a paragon'd

to lick vixen;

Like a monkey mischievously bring a stick; Then tirrup'. aloog with a light in'ncinghiep, A Swiss month'd away at a tife of narth tone, Little Youtter Van-Sploom- m-a well-known Like a cur that is greedily gnawing a bone demirop;

But as Orpheus once found, when he tudied A Jew renegado, from Bergen-op-Zoon,

to brutes, Was beau to these Ladies, on entiring she Their motion :o music most awkwarily fuits;

So the Vrouws, in a minuci, lo!-nnis prane Then heavily roll'd, with his wig and his bat, Like a bear, at a fair, that is tuior'd io A spherical Dutchman, o'erwbcmc bo tis

dance: fat.

[ca??? As a whale in shoal water flaps hard to get To what shall I like him ? fay anghi, i I To a mountain, I vow, in the mapeola m...! Murheer, in cosillon, this founders about. Reclin'd on his arm, with an allomaoppretsa, I'm sure you would laugh at their coppis. llung a globular wunan, mos flauntingy

mests queer,

leer dicís'd;

of hoe vaa

ve Me vrout? or hoe virile Mise To her higure gigantic say what can compare ? Niy nhee, ik ben bly uvan avond le ind, Why nought but the lleilburg ton, Ide- O! Lord, where a rhyme to this lwe shall I ciare !

find ? Wliile, itcaning with heat, boih appear'd, I So much was I shock'd by such diffona: inon,

Itrain, Hall veil'd froin my light, as if plungid in a Hark! chaos, said I, is returaing again! mift!

Se powers proiect me! avert the harth found, With a hump on his shoulder came Capiain And fhield my challo car from each gut'ral's Van-Sprack,

deep wound! Like Atlas, suppirting the world on his back; In vain I attimpid to utter a few, Next Madam l'an-Towzer came flirting a way I thoughi, on my word, a lock-jaw would Tlith a young Cicisceoquite iawdry and gay,

ensue! With whom she but recently fled from llice Perhaps, when the Lombards all Europe laid Hague

walle, Ticornute an old husband - a terribl" plague. Then Dutch wós a language of prevalent taste; Ineu mlynhec Suit-Howzen led Youf Vrouw But how in an age where we daily retide, Van Slaughter,

It yet boasts existence, I ne'er can divine ! With a cub of a son, and a fright of a daughter. O! could you survey all the women a-clack. With Mynbeer Van-Spranken came Mic

ing, Vrow Van-Trump,

Tough wal uts you'd think wi h their teelb d old hag; who had on a cork rump.

they were cracking.



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As table the men could you view in debate, For O! the ambition which glows in my You'd think they were going to spit in your

breast plate ;

Is, by pleasing my reader.-myself to be bles! For many a guttural's thorough bass note, We were scarce on the beach, when a troop Like the bone of a fish, seems to fick in their

of young beaux throat.

Swarm'd around to conduct us to take some O! fancy them, mother, uniting their forces, repose, And ftamping their feet like a string of dray

Which all of us waoted, as none had lain horses ;

down All smoaking their pipes, round the circle Since first we descried from our cabins the they take,

town: He dances the best who the floor moft can They handed us cach to a fly pallenkeen, shake!

The neatest conveyance I ever had seen ; Dear leade of great Hogarth, arise, and re

So delighted I was with this vehicle clever, touah,

I declare I, with pleasure, could ride in it With thy accurate hand, this assembly of

ever ; Dutch ;

Four men on their shoulders alongwith it run, O! Genius lamented ! thy pencil alone

Whilft one at its side keeps us free from the Can pi&ture the groupe as it ought to be

sun. Thewn.

Broad-Shoulder'd Paddy, from Dublin, can

ne'er We shall conclude our extracts with Miss For ease and for pacing with bearers Brittle's description and delineation of the

pare ;

For whilft from his chair oft' you're nearly manners of society at Madras.

flung out, At Madras we arriv'd in the height of With motionless speed here you're jaunted confusion,

about ; A scene all occasion'd by Hyder's intrusion ; But Paddy, in harness, keeps prancing'along, A Goth-like invader! who doth us all keep

Then opens a road with his poles thro' the Penn'd up in a fort, like a scar'd Rock of

throng, sheep ;

And always uneasily hoofs it as low With so Nender a fare, that I seldom do meet

As a state-carriage horse, less for use than for Scarce with any thing fresh at a table to cal;

Thew. And as it is fix'd we're to sail very soon, In triumph they thus bore us into the Fort, To get out ofthe way of the change of mon- In Itate full as much as if going to Court, soon,

With a crowd of stronge figures all leading A line or iwo, therefore, I'll hastily scrawl, As a note, “ we're thus far on our way to Wno pompously' sung out our praises for pay, Bengal."

And pleasantly choak'd us with columns of From thence, in another light letter, I'll Nate

duft, Whate'er I most worthy may deem to relate; As a tax upon greatness, which swallow we For there's an emporium of further delight

must. To challenge my muse to produce a new Cleopatra herself was not better attended flight,

lo her elegant barge, when the Nile he dro As a subj. et extensive, facetious, and new,

scended : Calcutta, I'm told, will present to my view. In short, to a Lady's they rapidly sped, With mirth and good-humour then next Who begg'd at her house we would cach will I trace

take a bed ; The customs, the manners, the folks of that A generous dame! whose benevolent will place ;

Is her house with good company ever to fill. But crush'd be my verse, if I should ever send We scarce had been feated, ere first we were One line that can merit or friendship offend !

told One line that by Satire or wit misapplied,, To prepare to comply with an etiquette ola, &an render my feelings or conduct decried ! To receive the whole town in our newest A generous bosom will ever disdain

attire, To wound in the dark, or to virtue give pain; And fit up in form that they might us adSo cruel a triumph let basenels purlue,

mire ; Who cowardly' Atabs whilft secreted from Tobe ogled by all such who chose to profess view!

That their joy at our landing they could not Be mine the bright line to keep honour in

express. light,

I own I recoil'à at a practice so vile, Nor blush, with my name, to avow what I And daily propos'd to poltpone it a while; write!

[Now, But our friend Mrs. Sbrivel, with whom we Tho' in musical cadence its numbers may

refide, Accurs'd be the straio if it brings me a foe! Infifted we ne'er could it well set aside ;

the way,


* The epithet ufually applied to pullankcen servants,


Et Ror. MAG.

That I vow,





their parts ;

That years forty-four she had always been With ardour extolled the design of my Fan : here,

'Twas Sappho del rted by Piraon, her (wain, And never had known it omitted a year. With her heels in the air, courting death is We therefore prepar'd with the ton tocomply,

the main. All except Tabby Prudence, who, yielding a Another, by flattery equally mov'd, figh,

The lace of my tucker as highly approv'd: Declar'd that such liberties led to encroach, “Right beautiful Point, by the Gods, I aver!" That therefore no man should her perfon ap- Not lo-for 'ris delicate Brussels, gay Sir! proach.

“ Your cap(says a thud), dear mifs, i protest, Mrs. Shrivel observéd, " The whole business, " By all that is tender ! I like it the beft ;

“ So waving the feathers ! lo graceful and “ Just confitts in a formal kifs, curtsy, and bow;

"So tastily rais’d on a frizzld platform! “ Scarce a word is exchang'd, for so filent the “So loftily pinn'd, that it proudly affumes

“ The shape of an helmet embellish'd with s You'd think them a parcel of sheep in a pen.

plumes ! " Sometimes (tho' but rarely) they courage

“ By the fine arts I swear, it can never escape will gather,

Our notice, dear girl, thy moft clegant • If pouring with rain, to aver, « 'ris bad

Ihape ! weather !'

“ 'Those lambent planels with Phæbus's fire, “ Or wisely observe, • ’ris a charming fine * Thy beauty unconicious which kindles denighi!'

fire." “ If the moon (strange to tell !) should but Crash went my fan, with a conq'ring funile ! dcign to shine bright.

Away went his congue in iny praifes awhile! “ An old Ind an sometimes will in raptuies And as flattery licns the hardett of hearts, exclain,

Our beaux fcemod deterinin'd to play well " A delectable lit! Pray, Ma'am, what is her name?

Each branch of our dress they'd alternately, And he makes on her quickly-a potent

praise, attack,

Gowns, fringes, and perticoats, founces and " By off 'ring himself and two luck,

Itays : “ With a right in two ycars to go home for My shift de la Reine is a dress they adore, her health,

My Poionoi se pleases, tho' long lince a bore; " And plan ont a fund to sink part of his But chiefly my dove-colour'd new-fashiond wealth ;

sandals " Or by firit, second, third, of same tenour Are fancied by all-but a few talclefs Vanand date,

dals. “Give him notice the yearly improves his

citate : “ And to make it more binding, he offers to Our beaux now presented each person bo

write, “ That as fali as the draws-he will honcur And begg'd that to us they their names might at light;

proclaim. “ Then pulls from his pocket a settlement A falute then eofu’d, a!ter which they retird, blank,

And others embrac'd us, as cuflon requir'd. " To dub ber a Lady of fortune and rank ; Perch'd prim on a couch, in my French lute6 And as Celia's too wise at such terms to be

Itring gow!, netilcd,

Three tedious ling nights was I kissed by “ Bclore the next fun their whole courtship’s

the town. oft' settled."

Detested vile custom ! I ne't shall forget Here Prudence replied, with an old-maidish The mens' thining faces, all cover'd wielu joke,

fweat ; 'Twas a shame thus to purchase-a pig in a Nor the funes of rich garlick, and hench of puke!

ehiroots *, On the ev'ning appointed, three powder'd Which po fon'd the mouths of two old filily

bruics : Buzz'd around us, and greatly admired our 'T will be shonly abolish'd, the Ladies here cloaths ;

trull, Then pretlily gave us, for light recreation, For of cutloms most horrid 'tis surely the Sme balderdalh, whipl-lillabub conversa

worit ! tion.

To he gaz'd at and view'd like a lot at a fale! One, a pec jemmy jesłamy tinsel'd young 0! barbarous race, where such cutions

prevail !





gay beaux


* Dried leaves of tobacco tightly comprelled into small oblong tubes, and generally Imoaked in India.


Where the eve of intrúsion can modestly Of Marathon's fight, where such valour was dala!

shewn, Where the rod of bold scandal our charac- That a handful of Greeks beat a cation alone; ters lath!

And I coid him quick marches were made by O! beauty and innocence, who can thee

the Hurs, Shield ?

As they scamper'd along unincumber'd with To the mandates of fashion must decency

guns ; yield ?

From which I deduc'd he did right, when Mof beauty's soft charms be, in form, thus

'twas dark, paraded ?

To drown, à la hate, his artillery park, Muft our tender young frames be by rude As Burgoyne had recently started a notion hands invaded ?

That cannon retarded an army in motion. Muft the coarse briftly beard of an athletic I told him, I knew the whole art militaire,

And offer'd to teach him la belle petite guerre ; Tear the skin from a virgin's fair dalicate face? That it I but once could be quite à portee, Mull thok: fruits which, in raptures, fond lu- I'd ftand forth mi filf in the fight of the day vers should reap,

At first he pretended to icl himself hurt, Be cull’d thus beforchand, and thus be held And lulkily termi's me a light-headed flirt ; chrap?

But I wold him, the various rights of our sex Forbit it, politeness ! forbidit with halle, Adinit that we sometimes our neighbours And banith a cuilom so vilely unchaite !

may vcx; A foldier of merit, who 'as ofteu display'd And e'er.we yet fail, I will make him declare His valour and conduct in battle array'd,

That the brave never cherish ill-will to the I lately attempted to prettily rally

fair. On his brilliant fucceftes against Hyder Ally; With any thing further respecting Madras I reminded him gently of Xenophon's fcat, I will not at present your patience harrass ; Who with ten thousand Grecks made a noble For I muft in a little my letter leave off, retreat;

To repair to the toilet to put on my coiff.


A Circumftantial Narrative of the Loss of the Halsewell Eaft-Indiaman, Captain Richard

Pierce, who was unfortunately wrecked at Seacomb in the Isle of Purbeck, on the Coast of Dorfetfhire, on the Morning of Friday the 6th of January 1786, compiled from the Communications, and under the Authorities, of Mr. Henry Meriton and Mr. John Rogers, the two chief Oficers who happily escaped the dreadful Catastrophe. 12010. Lane.

HE miserable catastrophe of Captain struck with such violence as to dash the heads


on board the Hallewell East-Indiaman, bas againīt the deck above them, and the fatal already excited the general compassion, and blow was accompanied by a Mariek of horior, melted the bofom of humanity. This Nar- which buift at one instant from every quarter rative of that melancholy dilatter is circum- of the ship. ftantial and exact; and the following descrip- The seamen, many of whom had been tion of the last fad scene cannot fail of affcct- remarkably inattentive and remifs in their ing every reader of sensibility,

duty great part of the storm, and had actually " The ship was driving fast on tore, and 1kulked in their hanmocks, and left the exthuile on board expecting her every moment ertions of the pump, and the other labours lo Itrike; the boats were then mentioned, attending their situation, to the officers of the but it was agreed that at that time they could ship, and the soldiers ; rouzed by the destrucbe of no ule, yet in case an opportunity Thould tive blow to a sense of their danger, now present itself of making them serviceable, it poured upon the deck, to which no endea$2$ proposed that the officers should be con- vours of their officers could keep them whilft sidentially requested to reserve the long-boat their affittance might have been useful, and, for the ladies and themselves; and this pre in frantic exclamations, demanded of heaven caucion was inmediately taken.

and their fellow-sufferers, that succour which " About two in the morning of Friday the their timely efforts might potlibly have luccm 6:h, the Tip Atill driving, and approaching ceeded in procuring; but it was now too late.' very fast to the thore, the same officer [Mr. By this time all the passengers and most of Meriton) again went in to the cuddy, where the officers were assembled in the rounds the captain then was, and another conversa. house, the latter employed in offering confotron took place. Captain Pierce expressing lation to the unfortunate ladies; and, with extreme anxiety for the preservation of his unparalleled magnanimity, suffering their combelovel daughters, and earnestly asking the pallion for the fair and amiable companions officer if he could devile any means of faving of their misfortunes, to get the better of the them; at this dreadful moment the ship sense of their own danyer, and the dread of


A a 2

almost inevitable annihilation ; 'Captain Pierce apprehension of his loss. - On this occafion fisting on a chair, cot, or some other move- Mr. Rogers offered to go and call in Mr. able, with a daughter on each side of him, Meriton ; but this was opposed by the laxlies, each of whom he alternately preffed to his from an apprehension that he might share the affectionate bosom; the rest of the melan- fame fate. choly assembly were seated on the deck, all “ At this moment the sea was breaking in of them tolerably composed. • At this nio- at the fore part of the ship, and had reached ment, what must be the feelings of a father- as far as the main-mast, and Captain Pierce of such a father as Captain Pierce!

gave Mr. Rogers a nod, and they took a “ But soon a considerable alteration in the lamp, and went together into the stern galappearance of the ship took place, the sides lery; and after viewing the rocks for some were visibly giving way, the deck seemed to time, Captain Pierce asked Mr. Rogers, if he be lifting, and uther (trong symptoms that she thought there was any possibility of saving the could not hold together much longer. Mr. girls to which he replied, he feared there Meriton therefore attempted to go forward was not. The Captain sat down between his to look out, but immediately saw that the two daughters, struggling to suppress the paship was separated in the middle, and that rental tear which then hurst into his eye. the fore part had changed its position, and lay “ The sea continuing to break in very rather farther out towards the sea. In this faft, Mr. M.Manus, a Midshipman, and Mr. emergency, when the next moment might Schulz, a pallenger, asked Mr. Rogers what he charged with his fate, he determined to they could do to escape ? uho replied, “ folseize the present, and endeavour make his low me;" they then all went upon the way to a shore, of which he knew not yet poop; and whilst they were there a very the horrors.

heavy sea fell on board, and the round-bouse “ Among other measures adopted to fa- gave way, and be heard the ladies shriek ; vour these attempts, the ensign-staff had been at that instant Mr. Brimer joined the party, unthipped, and attempted to be laid from the and seizing a hencoop, the same wave which Thip's fide to some of the rocks, but without proved fatal to those below, happily carried Success, for it snapped to pieces before it them to the rock, on which they were dashed reached them; however, by the light of a with such violence as to be miferably bruised lanihorn, handed from the round-house, Mr. and hurt.-Al the time Mr. Rogers reached Meriton discovered a spar, which appeared to this station of possible safety, his strength was be laid from the ship's side to the rocks, and so nearly exhautted, that had the struggle copon this spar he determined to attempt his tinued a few minutes longer he must have escape. He accordingly laid himself down been inevitably loft. on it, and thrust himself forward, but he “ They could yet discern some part of the soon found that the spar had no communi. Ihip, and solaced themselves, in their dreary cation with the rock. He reached the end stations, with the hope of its remaining enof it, flipped off, received a violent bruise in tire till day-break; but, alas ! in a very few his fall, and, before he could recover his minutes after they had gained the rock, an legs, he was washed off by the surge, in universal shriek, in which the voices offewhich he supported himself by swimming, male distress were lamentably distinguishable, till the returning wave dalhed him againft the announced the dreadful catastrophe ; in a few back part of a cavern, where he laid hold of moments all was hushed. The wreck was a small projecting piece of the rock, but was buried in the remorseless deep, and not an so benumbed, that he was on the point of atom of her was ever after discoverable. quitting it, when a seaman, who had already “ Thus perished the Halíewell, and with gained a footing, extended his hand, and al- her, worth, honour, skill, beauty; amiabififted him till he was out of the reach of the lity, and bright accomplishments; never did Surf.

the angry elements combat with more ele“ Mr. Rogers, the third mate, remained gance; never was a watery grave filled with with the captain, near twenty minutes after more precious remains. Great God, how isMr. Meriton had quitted the thip. The scrutable are thy judgments ! yet we know Captain asked what was become of Meriton ? them to be just ; nor will we arraign thy and Mr. Rogers replied, he was gone on mercy, who halt transferred virtue and purideck to see what could be done. After this, ty from imperfect and mutable tappiness a heavy sea breaking over the ship, the ladies to bliss eternal ! exclaimed, “ Oh poor Meriton! he is drown- " What an aggravation of woe was this ed; had he staid with us he would have been dreadful, this tremendous blow to the yet safe :" and they all, and particularly Miss trembling, and scarcely half-saved wretches, Mary Pierce, exprelied great concern at the who were hanging about the sides of the

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