In which Jones receives a letter from So- In which the history advances about two days. phia, and goes to a play with Mrs. Miller CHAP. V. BOOK XVI. THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING. BOOK I. CONTAINING AS MUCH OF THE BIRTH OF THE FOUNDLING AS IS NECESSARY OR PROPER TO ACQUAINT THE READER WITH IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS HISTORY. An author ought to consider himself not as a gentleman who gives a private eleemosynary treat, but rather as one who keeps a public ordinary, at which all persons are welcome for their money. In the former case, it is well known that the entertainer The provision, then, which we have here made is no other than Human Nature. Nor do I fear that my sensible reader, though most luxurious in his taste, will start, cavil, or be offended, because I have named but one article. The tortoise, as the alderman of Bristol, well learned in eating, knows by much experience, besides the delicious calipash and calipee, contains many different kinds of food; nor can the learned reader provides what fare he pleases; and, though be ignorant, that in human nature, though this should be very indifferent, and utterly here collected under one general name, is disagreeable to the taste of his company, such prodigious variety, that a cook will they must not find any fault; nay, on the have sooner gone through all the several contrary, good breeding forces them out- species of animal and vegetable food in the wardly to approve and to commend what-world, than an author will be able to ex ever is set before them. Now the contrary of this happens to the master of an ordinary. Men, who pay for what they eat, will insist on gratifying their palates, however nice and whimsical these may prove; and, if every thing is not agreeable to their taste, will challenge a right to censure, to abuse, and to d-n their dinner without control. To prevent, therefore, giving offence to their customers by any such disappointment, it hath been usual with the honest and well-meaning host to provide a bill of fare, which all persons may peruse at their first entrance into the house; and having thence acquainted themselves with the entertainment which they may expect, may either stay and regale with what is provided for them, or may depart to some other ordinary better accommodated to their taste. As we do not disdain to borrow wit or wisdom from any man who is capable of lending us either, we have condescended to take a hint from these honest victuallers, and shall prefix not only a general bill of fare to our whole entertainment, but shall likewise give the reader particular bills to every course which is to be served up in this and the ensuing volumes. haust so extensive a subject. An objection may, perhaps, be apprehended from the more delicate, that this dish is too common and vulgar; for what else is the subject of all the romances, novels, plays, and poems, with which the stalls abound? Many exquisite viands might be rejected by the epicure, if it was a sufficient cause for his contemning of them as common and vulgar, that something was to be found in the most paltry alleys under the same name. In reality, true nature is as difficult to be met with in authors, as the Bayonne ham, or Bologna sausage, is to be found in the shops. But the whole, to continue the same metaphor, consists in the cookery of the author; for, as Mr. Pope tells us, True wit is nature to advantage drest; The same animal, which hath the honour to have some part of his flesh eaten at the table of a duke, may perhaps be degraded in another part, and some of his limbs gibbeted, as it were, in the vilest stall in town. Where then lies the difference between the food of the nobleman and the porter, if both are at dinner on the same ox or calf, but I in the seasoning, the dressing, the garnishing, and the setting forth? Hence, the one | a very worthy and beautiful woman, of provokes and incites the most languid ap- whom he had been extremely fond: by her petite, and the other turns and palls that which is the sharpest and keenest. In like manner, the excellence of the mental entertainment consists less in the subject, than in the author's skill in well dressing it he had had three children, all of whom died in their infancy. He had likewise had the misfortune of burying this beloved wife herself, about five years before the time in which this history chooses to set out. This up. How pleased, therefore, will the read- loss, however great, he bore like a man of er be to find, that we have, in the following sense and constancy; though it must be work, adhered closely to one of the highest confessed, he would often talk a little whimprinciples of the best cook which the pre-sically on this head; for he sometimes said, sent age, or perhaps that of Heliogabalus, he looked on himself as still married, and hath produced? This great man, as is well known to all lovers of polite eating, begins at first by setting plain things before his hungry guests, rising afterwards by degrees, as their stomachs may be supposed to decrease, to the very quintessence of sauce and spices. In like manner, we shall represent human nature at first to the keen appetite of our reader, in that more plain and simple manner in which it is found in the country, and shall hereafter hash and ragoo it with all the high French and Italian seasoning of affectation and vice, which courts and cities afford. By these means, we doubt not but our reader may be rendered desirous to read on for ever, as the great person just above mentioned is supposed to have made some persons eat. Having premised thus much, we will now detain those who like our bill of fare no longer from their diet, and shall proceed directly to serve up the first course of our history for their entertainment. CAPTPER II. A short description of Squire Allworthy, and a full account of Miss Bridget Allworthy, his sister. considered his wife as only gone, a little before him, a journey which he should most certainly, sooner or later, take after her; and that he had not the least doubt of meeting her again, in a place where he should never part with her more;-sentiments for which his sense was arraigned by one part of his neighbours, his religion by a second, and his sincerity by a third. He now lived, for the most part, retired in the country, with one sister, for whom he had a very tender affection. This lady was now somewhat past the age of thirty, an era at which, in the opinion of the malicious, the title of old maid may with no impropriety be assumed. She was of that species of women, whom you commend rather for good qualities than beauty, and who are generally called, by their own sex, very good sort of women-as good a sort of woman, madam, as you would wish to know. Indeed, she was so far from regretting want of beauty, that she never mentioned that perfection, (if it can be called one,) without contempt; and would often thank God she was not as handsome as Miss Such-a-one, whom perhaps beauty had led into errors, which she might have otherwise avoided. Miss Bridget Allworthy, (for that was the name of this lady,) very rightly conceived the charms of person in a woman to be no better than snares for herself, as well as for others; and yet so In that part of the western division of this kingdom, which is commonly called Somersetshire, there lately lived, (and perhaps lives still,) a gentleman, whose name discreet was she in her conduct, that her was Allworthy, and who might well be call- prudence was as much on the guard, as if ed the favourite of both nature and fortune; for both of these seem to have contended which should bless and enrich him most. In this contention, nature may seem to some to have come off victorious, as she bestowed on him many gifts; while fortune had only one gift in her power; but in pouring forth this, she was so very profuse, that others perhaps may think this single endowment to have been more than equivalent to all the various blessings which he enjoyed from nature. From the former of these, he derived an agreeable person, a sound constitution, a solid understanding, and a benevolent heart; by the latter, he was decreed to the inheritance of one of the largest estates in the country. This gentleman had in his youth married she had all the snares to apprehend which were ever laid for her whole sex. Indeed, I have observed, (though it may seem unaccountable to the reader,) that this guard of prudence, like the trained bands, is always readiest to go on duty where there is the least danger. It often basely and cowardly deserts those paragons, for whom the men are all wishing, sighing, dying, and spreading every net in their power; and constantly attends at the heels of that higher order of women, for whom the other sex have a more distant and awful respect, and whom (from despair, I suppose, of success,) they never venture to attack. Reader, I think proper, before we proceed any farther together, to acquaint thee, that I intend to digress, through this whole ! |