his smile; though naturally his counte-inclined to be in love once in their lives. nance, as well as his air and voice, had much No particular season is, as I remember, asof roughness in it; yet he could at any time signed for this; but the age at which Miss deposit this, and appear all gentleness and Bridget was arrived seems to me as proper

good-humour. He was not ungenteel, nor entirely void of wit; and in his youth had abounded in sprightliness, which though he had lately put on a more serious character, he could when he pleased resume.

He had as well as the doctor, an academic education; for his father had, with the same paternal authority we have mentioned before, decreed him for holy orders; but, as the old gentleman died before he was ordain

a period as any to be fixed on for this purpose: it often, indeed, happens much earlier: but when it doth not, I have observed, it seldom or never fails about this time. Moreover, we may remark, that at this season love is of a more serious and steady nature than what sometimes shows itself in the younger parts of life. The love of girls is uncertain, capricious, and so foolish, that we cannot always discover what the young

ed, he chose the church militant, and prefer- lady would be at; nay, it may almost be red the king's commission to the bishop's. doubted, whether she always knows this He had purchased the post of lieutenant herself.

of dragoons, and afterwards came to be Now we are never at a loss to discern a captain; but, having quarreled with his this in women about forty; for as such grave,

colonel, was by his interest obliged to sell; from which time he had entirely rusticated himself, had betakén himself to studying the scriptures, and was not a little suspected of an inclination to methodism.

It seemed, therefore, not unlikely that such a person should succeed with a lady of so saint-like a disposition, and whose inclinations were no otherwise engaged than to the marriage state in general; but why the doctor, who certainly had no great friendship for his brother, should for his sake think of making so ill a return to the hospitality of Mr. Allworthy, is a matter not so easy to be accounted for.

Is it that some natures delight in evil, as others are thought to delight in virtue? Or is there a pleasure in being accessary to a theft when we cannot commit it ourselves? Or lastly, (which experience seems to make probable,) have we a satisfaction in aggrandizing our families, even though we have not the least love or respect for them?

Whether any of these motives operated on the doctor, we will not determine; but so the fact was. He sent for his brother, and easily found means to introduce him at Allworthy's as a person who intended only a short visit to himself.

The captain had not been in the house a week, before the doctor had reason to felicitate himself on his discernment. The captain was indeed as great a master of the art of love as Ovid was formerly. He had besides received proper hints from his brother, which he failed not to improve to the best advantage.

serious, and experienced ladies well know their own meaning, so it is always very easy for a man of the least sagacity to discover it with the utmost certainty.

Miss Bridget is an example of all these observations. She had not been many times in the captain's company before she was seized with this passion. Nor did she go pining and moping about the house, like a puny foolish girl, ignorant of her distemper: she felt, she knew, and she enjoyed the pleasing sensation, of which, as she was certain it was not only innocent but laudable, she was neither afraid nor ashamed.

And to say the truth, there is, in all points, great difference between the reasonable passion which women at this age conceive towards men, and the idle and childish liking of a girl to a boy, which is often fixed on the outside only, and on things of little value and no duration; as on cherry cheeks, small lily-white hands, sloeblack eyes, flowing locks, downy chins, dapper shapes; nay, sometimes on charms more worthless than these, and less the party's own; such are the outward ornaments of the person, for which men are beholden to the tailor, the laceman, the periwig-maker, the hatter, and the milliner, and not to nature. Such a passion girls may well be ashamed, as they generally are, to own either to themselves or to others.

The love of Miss Bridget was of another kind. The captain owed nothing to any of these fop-makers in his dress, nor was his person much more beholden to nature. Both his dress and person were such as, had they appeared in an assembly or a drawing-room, would have been the contempt and ridicule of all the fine ladies there. The former of these was indeed neat, but plain, coarse, ill-fancied, and out of fashion. As for the latter, we have expressly described it above. So far was the skin on his cheeks from being cherry-coloured, that you could not discern what the

58

obliged to have taken the witch of Endor
into the bargain.

natural colour of his cheeks was, they be- | all which the captain was so passionately ing totally overgrown by a black beard, fond, that he would most probably have conwhich ascended to his eyes. His shape tracted marriage with them, had he been and limbs were indeed exactly proportioned, but so large, that they denoted the strength rather of ploughman than any other. His shoulders were broad beyond all size, and the calves of his legs larger than those of a common chairman. In relation, and as the doctor had fished out

a

short, his whole person wanted all that ele-
gance and beauty which is the very reverse
of clumsy strength, and which so agreeably
sets off most of our fine gentlemen; being
partly owing to the high blood of their an-
cestors, viz. blood made of rich
generous wines, and partly to an early town-
education.

sauces

and

Though Miss Bridget was a woman of the greatest delicacy of taste, yet such were the charms of the captain's conversation, that she totally overlooked the defects of his person. She imagined, and perhaps very wisely, that she should enjoy more agreeable minutes with the captain than with a much prettier fellow; and forewent the consideration of pleasing her eyes, in order to procure herself much more solid satisfaction.

The captain no sooner perceived the passion of Miss Bridget, in which discovery he was very quick-sighted, than he faithfully returned it. The lady, no more than her lover, was remarkable for beauty. I would attempt to draw her picture, but that is done already by a more able master, Mr. Hogarth himself, to whom she sat many years ago, and hath been lately exhibited by that gentleman in his print of a

Win

ter's Morning, of which she was no improper emblem, and may be seen walking, (for walk she doth in the print,) to Covent-garden church, with a starved foot-boy behind carrying her prayer-book.

As Mr. Allworthy therefore had declared to the doctor, that he never intended to take a second wife, as his sister was his nearest that his intentions were to make any child of hers his heir, which indeed the law, without his interposition, would have done for him, the doctor and his brother thought it an act of benevolence to give being to a human creature, who would be so plentifully provided with the most essential means of happiness. The whole thoughts, therefore, of both the brothers were, how to engage the affections of this amiable lady.

But fortune, who is a tender parent, and often doth more for her favourite offspring than either they deserve or wish, had been so industrious for the captain, that whilst he was laying schemes to execute his purpose, the lady conceived the same desires with himself, and was on her side contriving how to give the captain proper encouragement, without appearing too forward; for she was a strict observer of all the rules of decorum. In this, however, she easily succeeded; for, as the captain was always on the look-out, no glance, gesture or word, escaped him.

The satisfaction which the captain received from the kind behaviour of Miss Bridget, was not a little abated by his apprehensions of Mr. Allworthy; for, notwithstanding his disinterested professions, the captain imagined he would, when he came to act, follow the example of the rest of the world, and refuse his consent to a match so disadvantageous, in point of interest, to his sister. From what oracle he received this opinion, I shall leave the reader to determine; but however he came by it, it strangely perplexed him how to regulate his conduct, so as at once to convey his affection to the lady, and to conceal it from her brother. He at length resolved to take all private opportunities of making his addresses; but in the presence of Mr. Allworthy to be as reserved

The captain likewise very wisely preferred the more solid enjoyments he expected with this lady, to the fleeting charms of person. He was one of those wise men, who regard beauty in the other sex, as a very worthless and nd superficial qualification; or, to speak more truly, who rather choose to possess every convenience of life with an ugly woman, than a handsome one with- and as much upon his guard as was possible; out any of those conveniences. And hav-and this conduct was highly approved by ing a very good appetite, and but little ni- the brother.

cety, he fancied he should play his part
very well at the matrimonial banquet, with-
out the sauce of beauty.

He soon found means to make his addresses in express terms to his mistress, from whom he received an answer in the proper form, viz. the answer which was first made some thousands of years ago, and which hath been handed down by tradition from mother to daughter ever since. If I was to translate this into Latin, I should render it by these two words, Nolo episcopari; a

To deal plainly with the reader, the captain, ever since his arrival, at least from the moment his brother had proposed the match to him, long before he had discovered any flattering symptoms in Miss Bridget, had been greatly enamoured; that is to say, of Mr. Allworthy's house and gardens, and of phrase likewise of immemorial use on anhis lands, tenements, and hereditaments; of other occasion.

The captain, however he came by his knowledge, perfectly well understood the lady, and very soon after repeated his application with more warmth and carnestness than before, and was again, according to due form, rejected; but as he had increased in the eagerness of his desires, so the lady, with the same propriety, decreased in the violence of her refusal.

Not to tire the reader, by leading him through every scene of this courtship, (which, though, in the opinion of a certain

indiscreet a passion! or could I have imagined, that my brother-why do I call him so? he is no longer a brother of mine.'

'Indeed, but he is,' said Allworthy, 'and a brother of mine too.'-' Bless me, sir,' said the doctor, 'do you know the shocking affair?'-'Look'e, Mr. Blifil,' answered the good man; 'It hath been my constant maxim in life, to make the best of all matters which happen. My sister, though many years younger than I, is at least old enough to be at the age of discretion. Had he imposed

great author, it is the pleasantest scene of on a child, I should have been more averse life to the actor, is, perhaps, as dull and tire- to have forgiven him; but a woman up

some as any whatever to the audience,) the captain made his advances in form, the citadel was defended in form, and at length, in proper form, surrendered at discretion.

During this whole time, which filled the space of near a month, the captain preserved great distance of behaviour to his lady in the presence of the brother; and the more he succeeded with her in private, the more reserved was he in public. And as for the lady, she had no sooner secured her lover, than she behaved to him before company with the highest degree of indifference; so that Mr. Allworthy must have had the insight of the devil, (or perhaps some of his worst qualities,) to have entertained the least suspicion of what was going forward.

CHAPTER XII.

Containing what the reader may, perhaps, expect to find in it.

In all bargains, whether to fight or to marry, or concerning any other such business, little previous ceremony is required, to bring the matter to an issue, when both parties are really in earnest. This was the case at present, and in less than a month the captain and his lady were man and wife.

The great concern now was to break the matter to Mr. Allworthy: and this was undertaken by the doctor.

wards of thirty must certainly be supposed to know what will make her most happy. She hath married a gentleman, though, perhaps, not quite her equal in fortune; and if he hath any perfections in her eye, which can make up that deficiency, I see no reason why I should object to her choice of her own happiness; which I, no more than herself, imagine to consist only in immense wealth. I might, perhaps, from the many declarations I have made of complying with almost any proposal, have expected to have been consulted on this occasion; but these matters are of a very delicate nature, and the scruples of modesty, perhaps, are not to be overcome. As to your brother, I have really no anger against him at all. He hath no obligation to me, nor do I think he was under any necessity of asking my consent, since the woman is, as I have said, sui juris, and of a proper age to be entirely answerable only to herself for her conduct.'

The doctor accused Mr. Allworthy of too great lenity, repeated his accusations against his brother, and declared that he should never more be brought either to see, or to own him for his relation. He then launched forth into a panegyric on Allworthy's goodness; into the highest encomiums of his friendship; and concluded by saying, he should never forgive his brother for having put the place which he bore in that friendship to a hazard.

Allworthy thus answered: 'Had I conceived any displeasure against your brother, I should never have carried that resentment to the innocent; but, I assure you, I have no such displeasure. Your brother appears to me to be a man of sense and honour. I do not disapprove the taste of my sister; nor will I doubt but that she is equally the object of his inclinations. I have always thought love the only foundation of happiness in married state; as it can only produce that high and tender friendship, which should always be the cement of this union; and, in my opinion, all those marriages, which are contracted from

One day, then, as Allworthy was walking in his garden, the doctor came to him, and, with great gravity of aspect, and all the concern which he could possibly affect in his countenance, said, 'I am come, sir, to impart an affair to you of the utmost consequence; but how shall I mention to you, what it almost distracts me to think of! He then launched forth into the most bitter invectives both against men and women; accusing the former of having no attachment but to their interest, and the latter of being so addicted to vicious inclinations, that they could never be safely trusted with one of the other sex. 'Could I,' said he, 'sir, have other motives, are greatly criminal; they suspected, that a lady of such prudence, such are a profanation of a most holy ceremony, judgment, such learning, should indulge so and generally end in disquiet and misery;

a

60

for surely we may call it a profanation, to convert this most sacred institution into a wicked sacrifice to lust or avarice; and what better can be said of those matches to which men are induced merely by the consideration of a beautiful person, or a great

fortune!

on

To deny that beauty is an agreeable object to the eye, and even worthy some admiration, would be false and foolish. Beautiful is an epithet often used in scripture, and always mentioned with honour. It was my own fortune to marry a woman whom the world thought handsome, and I can truthat acly say, I liked her the better count. But, to make this the sole consideration of marriage, to lust after it so violently as to overlook all imperfections for its sake, or to require it so absolutely as to reject and disdain religion, virtue, and sense, which are qualities in their nature of much higher perfection, only because an elegance of person is wanting: this is surely inconsistent, either with a wise man or a good christian. And it is, perhaps, being too charitable to conclude, that such persons mean any thing more by their marriage, than to please their carnal appetites; for the satisfaction of which, we are taught, it was not ordained.

'In the next place, with respect to fortune. Worldly prudence, perhaps, exacts some consideration on this head: nor will I absolutely and altogether condemn it. As the world is constituted, the demands of a married state, and the care of posterity, require some little regard to what we call circumstances. Yet this provision is greatly increased, beyond what is really necessary, by folly and vanity, which create abundantly more wants than nature. Equipage for the wife, and large fortunes for the children, are by custom enrolled in the list of necessaries; and to procure these, every thing truly solid and sweet, and virtuous and religious, are neglected and overlooked.

to prevent now and then a small discomposure of his muscles. He now praised every period of what he had heard, with the warmth of a young divine, who hath the honour to dine with a bishop the same day in which his lordship hath mounted the pulpit.

CHAPTER XIII.

Which concludes the first book; with an instance of ingratitude, which, we hope, will appear unnatural.

THE reader, from what hath been said, may imagine, that the reconciliation, (if indeed it could be so called,) was only matter of form; we shall therefore pass it over, and hasten to what must surely be thought matter of substance.

The doctor had acquainted his brother with what had passed between Mr. Allworthy and him; and added, with a smile, 'I promise you, I paid you off; nay, Labsolutely desired the good gentleman not to forgive you: for you know, after he had made a declaration in your favour, I might with safety venture on such a request with a person of his temper; and I was willing, as well for your sake as for my own, to prevent the least possibility of a suspicion.'

Captain Blifil took not the least notice of this, at that time; but he afterwards made a very notable use of it.

One of the maxims which the devil, in a late visit upon earth, left to his disciples is, when once you are got up, to kick the stool from under you. In plain English, when you have made your fortune by the good offices of a friend, you are advised to discard him as soon as you can.

Whether the captain acted by this maxim, I will not positively determine; so far we may confidently say, that his actions may be fairly derived from this diabolical principle; and indeed it is difficult to assign any other motive to them: for no sooner began was he possessed of Miss Bridget, and reconciled to Allworthy, than he be show a coldness to his brother, which increased daily; till at length it grew into rudeness, and became very visible to every one.

to

And this in many degrees; the last and greatest of which seems scarce distinguishable from madness ;--I mean where persons of immense fortunes contract themselves to those who are, and must be disagreeable to them to fools and knaves-in order to increase an estate, already larger even than the demands of their pleasures. Surely The doctor remonstrated to him privatesuch persons, if they will not be thought mad, must own, either that they are inca- ly concerning this behaviour, but could obpable of tasting the sweets of the tenderest tain no other satisfaction than the following

friendship, or that they sacrifice the great-
est happiness of which they are capable, to
the vain, uncertain, and senseless laws of
vulgar opinion, which owes as well their
force as their foundation to folly.'

Here Allworthy concluded his sermon, to
which Blifil had listened with the profound-
est attention, though it cost him some pains

plain declaration: 'If you dislike any thing in my brother's house, sir, you know you are at liberty to quit it.' This strange, cruel, and almost unaccountable ingratitude in the captain, absolutely broke the poor doctor's heart; for ingratitude never so thoroughly pierces the human breast, as when it proceeds from those in whose be

half we have been guilty of transgressions. Reflections on great and good actions, however they are received or returned by those in whose favour they are performed, always administer some comfort to us; but what consolation shall we receive under so biting a calamity as the ungrateful behaviour of our friend, when our wounded conscience at the same time flies in our face, and upbraids us with having spotted it in the service of one so worthless?

Mr. Allworthy himself spoke to the captain in his brother's behalf, and desired to know what offence the doctor had committed; when the hard-hearted villain had the baseness to say, that he should never forgive him for the injury which he had endeavoured to do him in his favour; which, he said, he had pumped out of him, and was such a cruelty that it ought not to be forgiven.

He once intended to acquaint Allworthy with the whole; but he could not bring himself to submit to the confession, by which he must take to his share so great a portion of guilt. Besides, by how much the worse man he represented his brother to be, so much the greater would his own offence appear to Allworthy, and so much the greater, he had reason to imagine, would be his resentment.

He feigned, therefore, some excuse of business for his departure, and promised to return soon again; and took leave of his brother with so well-dissembled content, that, as the captain played his part to the same perfection, Allworthy remained well satisfied with the truth of the reconciliation.

The doctor went directly to London, where he died soon after of a broken heart; a distemper which kills many more than is generally imagined, and would have a fair title to a place in the bill of mortality, did it not differ in one instance from all other diseases, viz. that no physician can cure it.

Allworthy spoke in very high terms upon this declaration, which he said became not a human creature. He expressed, indeed, so much resentment against an unforgiving Now, upon the most diligent inquiry into

temper, that the captain at last pretended to be convinced by his arguments, and outwardly professed to be reconciled.

As for the bride, she was now in her honeymoon, and so passionately fond of her new husband, that he never appeared to her to be in the wrong; and his displeasure against any person was a sufficient reason for her dislike to the same.

The captain, at Mr. Allworthy's instance, was outwardly, as we have said, reconciled to his brother; yet the same rancour remained in his heart; and he found so many opportunities of giving him private hints of this, that the house at last grew insupportable to the poor doctor; and he

the former lives of these two brothers, I find, besides the cursed or hellish maxim of policy above mentioned, another reason for the captain's conduct: the captain, besides what we have before said of him, was a man of great pride and fierceness, and had always treated his brother, who was of a different complexion, and greatly deficient in both those qualities, with the utmost air of superiority. The doctor, however, had much the larger share of learning, and was by many reputed to have the better understanding. This the captain knew, and could not bear; for though envy is at best a malignant passion, yet is its bitterness greatly heightened by mixing with con

chose rather to submit to any inconvenien- tempt towards the same object; and very ces which he might encounter in the world, much afraid I am, that whenever an oblithan longer to bear these cruel and ungrate-gation is joined to these two, indignation ful insults from a brother for whom he had and not gratitude will be the product of all done so much.

three.

BOOK II.

CONTAINING SCENES OF MATRIMONIAL FELICITY IN DIFFERENT DEGREES OF LIFE: AND VARIOUS OTHER TRANSACTIONS DURING THE FIRST TWO YEARS AFTER THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN CAPTAIN BLIFIL AND MISS BRIDGET ALLWORTHY.

CHAPTER I.

Showing what kind of a history this is; what it is

like; and what it is not like.

sue the method of those writers, who profess to disclose the revolutions of countries, than to imitate the painful and voluminous historian, who, to preserve the regularity of his series, thinks himself obliged to fill up as much paper with the detail of months and years in which nothing remarkable

THOUGH we have properly enough entitled this our work a history, and not a life, nor an apology for a life, as is more in fashion, yet we intend in it rather to pur- happened, as he employs upon those nota