CHAPTER 24.

The Author visits an acquaintance in London....Project of a School....Difficulties respecting its execution....The nega tive of her aunts....Character of these old ladies.......... Illustration of Dr. Hartley.

IN the spring of 1778, I made a visit of two months, to an acquaintance in London, for the purpose, principally, of spending some time near Mr. and Mrs. Lindsey. Whilst there, revolving frequently in my mind, what would be the termination of my brother's agricultural speculations, I consulted with them and with some other friends, on the subject; and at length, after much deliberation, formed a plan respecting my own conduct, when the apprehended catastrophe should arrive. I did not think myself obliged out of my small property, to assist my brother, which indeed I could not have done effectually; but it was my duty, if possible, to support my mother, to which however my little income would still be inadequate, and I saw no method of doing it, except by endeavouring to open a school. I was not without feelings, that revolted against this project, viewing the subject too much through the false medium of prejudice, if not of pride, but I endeavoured to take my station on higher ground. I had no doubt, as the motives were just and right, of their being approved when they were known by the wise and good; and if others, who could not precisely be so esti

mated, withdrew from my acquaintance, the loss in reality would not be great.

But I had another difficulty. If my leading object was to improve my income, I must fix upon such terms, as those only of very considerable fortune, could afford to comply with; and these would of course expect that their daughters should be so educated, as to figure in fashionable life with some eclat; and the inevitable consequence would be, that an attention must be paid to mere accomplishments, and a stress laid upon them, which would hardly be compatible with what I conceived to be the leading objects of an education, founded on strict Christian principles. If for instance, I endeavoured to impress upon the minds of my pupils, that dancing, music, and drawing, however desirable as ornamental acquirements, and as supplying the means of innocent amusement, ought not to encroach too much upon the real business of life,-they would hardly make very great proficiency in them. How I might have succeeded, I cannot say, for the experiment was never made; although I did actually take some preliminary steps whilst in London; but I did not proceed farther, until I had previously consulted my two aunts in York, already so often mentioned.

This I did immediately on my return, explaining to them at large, the various circumstances which had excited my apprehensions, asking their opinion how I should proceed, stating also that I could not devise any other expedient, than that which I now proposed. They foresaw, as clearly

as I did, the coming storm; but kindly assured me, that my mother should not be shipwrecked in it, and they very earnestly desired me to desist from my project. In fact, they could not endure the thought, that a niece of theirs, who was well known to have been in the habit of associating with some of the first families, in the city where they lived, should engage in an undertaking, which in their estimation, would remove her from the rank of a gentlewoman. The sum of money too, that would be required for taking and furnishing a large house, near the metropolis, seemed an almost insurmountable difficulty; and added to this, my having seceded from the Established Church, would certainly operate against my future success. These considerations, together with a tincture of early inbibed family prejudices, still remaining, as already hinted, in my own mind, induced me to relinquish my plan, at least for the present; and to wait in patience, the gradual developement of the apprehended calamity.

It may be worth while to dwell a little upon the character of these good ladies, or rather upon the character of the elder, (for her sister, who was her inferior in understanding, having been accustomed to look up to her from infancy, as a perfect model, had completely imbibed all her feelings, prejudices, and opinions,) as a striking instance, of the irresistible power of vivid, early impressions, and strong subsequent associations, to retain their influence, long after the circum

stances which gave rise to them, have ceased to exist.

My aunt Catharine was at this time, about seventy years of age. She was the eldest child of a numerous family; had certainly a very good natural understanding, an equal flow of cheerful spirits, and a remarkably amiable temper. My grandfather, being a baronet's younger son, and happening to live within three miles of his af fluent elder brother, it became a point of honour with my grandmother, in whom the pride of ancestry was the ruling passion, to appear on some sort of equality with the elder branch of the family; an ambition which she could not relinquish, even after she was left a widow, with a small jointure. My aunt, from her earliest infancy, was taught this lesson, and so completely did she inbibe its spirit, that as the object to be accomplished was not easy, and would be wholly unattainable without the strictest economy, she devoted to it the whole powers of her mind, and her success was proportioned to her extraordinary exertion. Their whole appearance and establishment was required to be not only decent, but respectable; they were to be hospitable at all times, and on some occasions, were to give a splendid entertainment. To accomplish the first, a considerable quantity of land was retained in their own hands, in order to supply the family with the various articles of housekeeping, the best of their kind, at the smallest expense. My aunt would rise with the lark, to see that her servants and labourers were each at their post :

and she seldom would take the men and horses from their labour, to make a visit, unless when the weather had rendered it impossible to work out of doors.-To achieve the latter, the science of cookery was studied with the most unwearied assiduity; neither was the art neglected, of producing the best possible effect, by the skilful arrangement of the various dishes. Possessing all these excellences, how was it possible but that my aunt should become the supreme favourite of my grandmother? who sounded forth her praise from morning until evening; continually repeating, that she it was who had borne, "the burthen and heat of the day," and who was entitled "to eat gold," if it could be obtained for her.

My mother, on the contrary, who was seven years younger, was very little regarded; not being the deputed mistress of the family, she had not its honours to support; and whilst my aunt was "rising early and eating the bread of carefulness," devising every possible expedient to attain the very summit of economical excellence ;-her sister, rising equally early, would employ herself in making clothes for the poor people of the village; and in every little act of benevolence and charity, that lay within her power.-My aunt however, did not abuse the absolute authority with which she was invested, by any unnecessary exercise of arbitrary sway; but she was led unavoidably, by the exaggerated praises bestowed upon her, to appreciate very highly, the qualifications which gave rise to them; and hence it was, that to make a genteel appearance, upon a very